Live and Let Live
by DarkElements10
Summary: Kendall Knight: Leader of Big Time Rush, big brother, loving son, and the one that put his friends in the hospital. Somehow, it doesn't have the same ring to it. NO SLASH!
1. Hurt

**Chapter One**

Kendall Knight sat alone in the cold plastic chair, crying.

No, he wasn't just crying, he was sobbing. He was sobbing so hard that he was starting to get a headache. But you'd be sobbing too if you had put your friends into the hospital. He didn't know what happened; the last thing that he remembered before he blacked out was driving home from a party that Gustavo had thrown for them, in celebration for having released their first CD and it going Gold in the first week.

It was a great party and a great night; he had hung out with his friends and had a good time. He was even able to talk to Jo without making a fool of himself or being taken away by Gustavo's crazy bodyguard Freight Train. He even got her number. James and Carlos had started to crash after the massive amounts of sugar they had eaten had started to leave their system. It didn't surprise Kendall at all; they had been drinking soda and eating junk food all night long. Even the down-to-earth and follower-of-the-rules Logan was starting to crash.

He knew how to party when he wanted to, but he also knew his limits. He was the one that suggested for them to go home so they could get a good night's sleep before it got to too late. It was kind of late for that actually, since it was past 1:00, but Kendall didn't feel that he was tired, so he offered to drive home. He didn't realize how tired he was until he was halfway home. He started to yawn continuously and felt his head starting to drop from time to time. His friends were in the backseat, already snoring loudly and he was starting to feel envious.

The next thing Kendall knew, everything had turned black, and when he woke up, he was being treated by some doctors while he was looking up at the white ceiling. He tried to ask what was going on, but the doctors worked so fast they were out of the room in seconds. Kendall had checked his arms and legs and then went over to the small mirror that was over the sink in the room that he was in. He had a small cut on his cheek that was covered with a bandage and a small bruise above his eyebrow.

Confused, he left the room and looked around, seeing doctors and nurses rushing back and forth down the same hallway, not noticing that he was standing there. He was jostled a few times and noticed that there was some blood on a few of their scrubs.

"Excuse me?" he tried to get a doctor's attention but they moved right by him. "What's going on?" he tried again, but was still annoyed. He started to walk down the hallway, determined to find answers, butt eh answers came to him.

"Kendall Knight left the accident with a couple of scrapes and a bruise," a nurse was saying to the doctor down the hall. "But his friends weren't so lucky." She heaved a heavy sigh and looked older than her years, a combination of stress and of worrying about the teenage boys. "James Diamond is unconscious, but his body is responding to what we're doing for him. He has a broken arm, some broken ribs, and a sprain ankle." She let out another sigh, shaking her head. "Logan Mitchell and Carlos Garcia are both in comas; we're not sure about the extent of their injuries. "

"Thanks for telling me, Nurse Michaels." The doctor replied as she heaved a weary sigh himself. "What we should do is…"

Kendall couldn't hear what the doctor had said. There seemed to be a roaring in his ears, he felt dizzy, and sick. Thankfully he collapsed into the chair behind him, seconds before the tears came.

And that's where he was now, sitting on that plastic chair, knees drawn up to his chest to hide his face. And the only thing that was going through his head was:

_Why did this have to happen?_

_

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_**A/N: Short first chapter to give you guys a taste. There is no OCs in this except for the doctors and nurses and other patients. I got the inspiration for this from Miss. Fenway's story **Little Hollow_. _**So this story is dedicated to her. I hope you like it.**

**-Riley**


	2. Brother and Sister

**Chapter Two**

Do you know that feeling when you don't know what's dream and what's reality? That feeling when you're in so much of a haze that when you finally fall asleep after staying up for a long time you don't understand that what happened the night before was what really happened and it wasn't a dream? Sometimes it can be good, sometimes it could be bad.

Kendall hates that feeling and he's always hated that feeling. Every time he got that feeling it was when something horrible happened. That one time he had been checked so hard into the boards into hockey that he had broken a leg and was knocked unconscious. When he woke up in the hospital he was ticked off that because at first he was convinced that what happened was a dream and that it didn't really happen. It wasn't until Carlos, in his less than tactful way, pointed out his hockey jersey, and broken leg, that he finally did realize it.

And he hated that feeling.

Now he had it again, but it wasn't because Kendall was trying to sleep, it was because he was trying to convince himself that he wasn't in the hospital, that those were doctors running back and forth, and that wasn't the smell of medicine and blood that he was smelling. He was trying to convince himself that he was back home at the Palm Woods, lying in his bed and having a nightmare.

The only problem was that this nightmare was his reality and he didn't even remember what happened.

"C'mon, think!" he whispered to himself, grabbing on to the ends of his hair. "Think back, what happened to you?" a fresh wave of tears slid down his cheeks. "What happened to your friends?"

He still had no answers, and still no doctor or nurse would stop long enough to give him an answer. All he wanted to do right now was go home and cry to his mother, as pathetic as that sounded. He just wanted to curl up into her side, cry, and have her tell him that everything was going to be alright.

"Kendall!"

Kendall slowly raised his head, his hazel eyes looking empty and slowly followed the voice, turning his head to the side. Before he knew what happened, someone had collided into his side and was hugging him tightly. It wasn't until she started to say his name repeatedly, along with being happy that he was ok, did he realize that it was his little sister, Katie.

"I'm so glad you're ok, bro." she sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, despite the lack of room as his knees were still pulled up to his chest.

"Where's mom?" Kendall murmured, knowing that there was no way that Katie could have gotten to the hospital by herself. Without being caught at least.

"She's trying to get some information on the guys," Katie replied as she pulled back at and looked at her brother worriedly. They had gotten called at the Palm Woods about thirty minutes ago, saying that the four boys were in the hospital. At first Mrs. Knight didn't realize what was going on because she was mad that they had broken curfew and still weren't back. But then the words sank in and she rushed to get Katie up before the two of them flew out the door. "She'll be over here in a few minutes." She added, absentmindedly rubbing Kendall's neck.

"She probably shouldn't be coming anywhere near me," Kendall replied, looking straight ahead, not focusing on anything.

"What?" Katie brought her arm down and moved around to Kendall's front, forcing him to look at her. She gasped slightly when she saw how hollow his eyes looked. "Kendall, what do you mean?"

"You shouldn't be around me either." Kendall continued. "I just continue to push everyone away, when I don't want to. I always hurt people."

"What are you talking about?" Katie whispered, hating to see her brother this way. Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked at her older brother, the strong one, who always sang to her when she couldn't sleep and who always looked out for her. This wasn't the Kendall she knew. "Kendall, you don't hurt people."

"I hurt my friends," he whispered, staring right into Katie's eyes. "I hurt mom, I'm probably going to hurt you too."

"Wha…How did you hurt mom?" Katie didn't understand it at all. There was something definitely wrong with Kendall and it wasn't just the scrapes and bruises that he had.

"I pushed dad away," Kendall replied in the same monotone. "I did something…to make him mad…to make him leave us. I hurt mom by making him leave, I hurt you by making him leave. Now…I've done something to hurt my friends, even though I don't know that I did." He took a deep breath, his lower lip quivering. "And I'm sorry." He burst out into tears again.

"I'm so sorry."

Kendall allowed Katie to wrap her arms around him and bury her face into his neck. He needed that comfort and he needed the warmth, because he was just too cold…

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**A/N: And here's chapter two. I wanted Kendall's and Katie's brother/sister relationship to be a good part of this story and this is the beginning of it. I hope you guys like it and the next chapter will be up soon. They will be longer too. Thanks.**

**-Riley**


	3. Mother

**Chapter Three**

Mrs. Knight stood impatiently behind a slow talking man as she waited to get to the reception's desk. She already knew that Kendall was ok; the doctor said that he had a few minor cuts and bruises, but since she was the guardian of his friends, she needed to go down to the hospital. After looking after the three other boys, she felt as if they were her own children and she needed to know what was wrong with them now. But the doctor wouldn't say anything over the phone.

"Oh come on," Mrs. Knight muttered under her breath as the person in front of her continued to talk with the receptionist. After a few more seconds she got fed up with it and shoved the guy aside. "What she's trying to tell you is that there is no patient of that name here! So move aside so I can check on my boys!" she turned back to the receptionist. "I'm looking for information on Logan Mitchell, James Diamond, and Carlos Garcia."

"Are you any of their mothers?" the receptionist asked in an icy tone, probably pissed off at the fact that she had butted into a conversation.

"No, I'm Kendall Knight's mother," Mrs. Knight replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "But I'm the-"

"I'm sorry, but as of right now I can only release that information to their immediate families." The receptionist replied and went back to her paper work. Mrs. Knight stood there and the receptionist sighed, lifting her head back up. "Yes?"

"I'm not leaving until I get the information on them that I need to know." Mrs. Knight insisted.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but as I said before, I can only release that information to their immediate families." The receptionist replied forcefully.

Mrs. Knight glared at the receptionist for a few more moments before following the direction that Katie walked in. Every time she came to a hallway, she stopped and looked both ways to see if she could find any signs of her children before continuing. Finally at the end of the long hallway, Mrs. Knight spotted her daughter tightly hugging her son. She let out a breath of relief before rushing over to him and grabbing him into her arms in a tight hug. She remembered the last time that she felt his way.

Kendall had been six, and it was a short time period Katie was born. He, James, Logan, and Carlos had been swimming at the lake, and Mr. and Mrs. Knight were watching them for the day, sitting back on the sand. Being 8 months pregnant, Mrs. Knight wasn't very fond of having to go to the lake and just sit there, but she had a feeling, later she called it mother's intuition, that she needed to be there that day. So there she was sitting on the sand next to her husband, reading a book when Kendall's friends had started calling his name.

Mr. Knight was up and running towards the water in a flash as Mrs. Knight got up as fast as she could and waddled over to where the three boys were looking around frantically. "What's going on?" Mrs. Knight gasped as she grabbed onto Carlos' shoulders. He was always the most sensitive one and was already crying a storm when Mrs. Knight got there.

"We were seeing how long we could hold our breath under water and Kendall still hasn't come up yet." He had wailed eyes wide with fear.

It was then that Mrs. Knight's heart felt as if it was going to explode, the fear that she was feeling was evident as her heart was beating like crazy. She scanned the lake, looking for her husband, holding her breath. She didn't let it go until Kendall was back on dry land and her husband had assured her that he was ok. But that didn't stop the scared feeling she got knowing that she was close to losing her son.

Now that she was holding her son in her arms, Mrs. Knight knew that there was never a worse feeling than knowing that your child could lose their life before they were able to experience anything.

"Kendall," Mrs. Knight whispered as she held her son at arm's length and brushed his hair off his forehead. "How is everybody?" Katie stood off to the side, sort of uncomfortable as she had never seen her brother cry before.

"I don't know," Kendall stated to babble, still crying. "James is hurt…but not as bad as Logan and Carlos. I think they're in comas, I don't know, no one will tell me anything."

"Honey, why didn't you just call me to get a ride home?" Mrs. Knight was now crying too.

"Because I knew that you would be mad that I broke curfew." Kendall pressed his face against his mother's shoulder.

"I wouldn't have gotten mad, Kendall. I would have-"

"Mom," Kendall interrupted. "You would have been mad. You're a mother; of course you would have been mad. And because I thought that you would get mad I was afraid that I would get in trouble if we came home late, so I drove home." A tear slid down his cheek, his eyes were red and puffy and he had a headache. "God, I wish I had called you mom."

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**A/N: Another angst filled chapter. I wanted to show what was going on with the Knight's before I got to the interactions with Carlos, James, and Logan. I hope you guys liked it.**

**-Riley**


	4. James

**Chapter Four**

When Kendall woke up the next day, he was glad to notice that he was lying on a bunch of chairs with his head in his mother's lap. He smiled for a second and then it faded when he remembered where he was. Mrs. Knight noticed her son's movements and knew that he was awake. She gently shook his shoulder and Kendall rolled around, looking up into his mother's gently smiling face. She looked really tired, letting Kendall know that she hadn't gone to sleep.

"Where's Katie?" he asked in a raspy voice, throat raw from the crying that he had done the night before.

"I'm right here, Kendall, don't worry." Kendall felt a hand grab onto his and he looked down to see Katie sitting on the floor, reading a magazine. She must have started to feel a little uncomfortable, not acting like herself, because she pulled her hand away, sighing loudly, and waved it over her face. "You may want to clean up, dummy. Your breath is terrible!"

Kendall cracked the tiniest of smiles and got up from his mother's lap and the chairs. His lower back was screaming with pain and as he got up to stretch, he could feel the bones in his back creaking all the way down his spine.

"Where's the bathroom?" he mumbled in a barely audible voice.

Mrs. Knight pointed down the hall and Kendall turned and shuffled to the bathroom, arms down at his sides, his head bent down low. He entered the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him before turning on the light, almost screaming when he saw his reflection.

His hair was messy and fell over his face, casting a shadow, his eyes were red and puffy and he was going to need to shave soon, as there was a little bit of stubble around his chin. Sighing, Kendall splashed water across his face and held his palms against his eyes, trying to make the puffiness go away. Finally he drank a bit of water from the faucet, swishing it around his mouth, before spitting it back out. He dried off his face and then walked back to his mom and his sister. He saw that they were talking to a doctor and hurried over.

"How're my friends?" he demanded. "Where are they?"

"Kendall!" Mrs. Knight hissed and then smiled at the doctor in apology. Kendall ignored her, seeing as his friends were in the hospital and it was his fault, he didn't see why he had to be polite.

"It's all right," the doctor turned towards Kendall and held his hand out. "I'm Dr. Richmond and I'll be looking after your friends." He stated and then lowered his hand when Kendall stared at him impatiently. "Things haven't really changed from last night, Logan Mitchell and Carlos Garcia are still comatose, and we don't know when they're going to wake up." He cleared his throat. "But your friend James is awake and he's been asking for you."

"Really?" Kendall breathed in relief. "He's ok?"

"Yes, dummy, now go see him." Katie stated and then gave her brother a tiny smile, encouraging him. It was as if she was giving him reassurance, although she wasn't saying anything. But Kendall could feel it in his heart and it was really helping him.

"Katie, come with me." Kendall stated after a second of thinking, holding his hand out.

Katie stared hard at her brother. She felt his pain, she really did, because the three boys were like her surrogate brothers whenever Kendall was gone and they always looked out for her. So it felt like part of her own heart had been ripped out when she heard about the accident. But it was still odd to see her brother, the one person that she had never seen cry, stand before her, asking to hold his hand. The two hadn't willingly held hands in years, at least, not since Katie had started watching FOX.

But she knew that he needed it. They both did.

Katie moved forward and took Kendall's hand in hers, shocked to notice that it was shaking. She looked up at Kendall's face as they started to walk to James' room. He was looking straight ahead; eyes set in grim determination and…fear.

Katie sighed as she looked back down at her shoes. She wasn't sure if there was anything that she could do to help her brother, if he even wanted her help that was. They soon reached James' room and Kendall hesitated for a second before entering the room.

James looked up as the door opened and his face immediately split into a grin when he saw Kendall.

"Dude, I'm glad you're ok." He stated as Kendall moved over to the bed, staring at the bandages that were on James. There was a sling around his neck that held his arm and his right foot was elevated on a stack of pillows, a blue cast around his leg, showing his toes. James noticed his friend's expression. "Dude, I'm fine."

"Fine?" Kendall repeated. "You're sitting in a hospital bed all banged up with a fucking broken foot and you're saying you're_ fine_?" Katie gasped, having never heard her brother curse before. Nor has she ever seen him so mad.

"Kendall," James grabbed onto his friend's arm and pulled him closer to the bed. "Compared to Logan and Carlos I just have a scratch." James explained. "You have to think about them."

"That's all he has been thinking about." Katie commented as she moved to the other side of the bed. "Glad to see you're up and alive." She smiled. "I can't have my other big brother dying out on me." She joked softly.

"Please, I know what Kendall's weaknesses are; I need to help you get him off your back sometimes." James replied and the two laughed.

"I'm glad that you both think this is so funny!" Kendall snapped.

"Lighten up, Kendall." James replied and tightened his grip on Kendall's arm. "Listen, I'm not blaming you for what happened." He chuckled a little bit. "Well, I was asleep so I don't really know what happened. But either way, I'm not blaming you. And I know that Logan and Carlos are going to pull through, because they're our friends and they know that they don't want us to be left alone."

Kendall looked back at his friend, expressionless.

"I love you, bro." James added.

"I love you too, James." Kendall gave a smile before leaning over the bed and hugging his friend.

"Ouch" James winced and Kendall immediately backed up, saying that he was sorry over and over again, almost to the point of babbling. He was so worried that he didn't notice James' shaking.

"He's laughing doofus." Katie pointed out with a giggle.

"Got you." James replied and then his smile waned. "We're going to be fine, dude."

"I know." Kendall whispered.

"Now," James sighed. "Could you get me something to eat? It's been forever since we were at that party and I'm starving." He paused. "But try not to give me anything that's loaded with fat or sugar, I don't want my perfect skin to get any pimples."

Kendall laughed as he shook his head, happy that this friend was behaving like he usually would be. "Promise." He turned to his sister. "C'mon Katie, let's find some food for James."

"Sure," Katie replied and left the room with her older brother.

James' smile faded as soon as the door closed. He looked around the hospital room and then at his arm and leg, as a lone tear slid down his cheek…

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**A/N: So if anyone was confused, the only reason why James was being so serious about the whole thing was because he could tell how scared and guilty Kendall was feeling he didn't want him to feel bad. That's why he waited until Kendall and Katie left the room to cry.**


	5. Sleeping

**Chapter Five**

"Kendall, are you ready to see Carlos and Logan?" Katie asked as she stood next to her brother, the two of them looking in through the window at their friends. Kendall didn't blink as he stared at them, he couldn't find his voice. Instead, he just shook his head. "Kendall." Katie sighed as she rolled her eyes. "You know that they say whoever is in a coma can still hear what you're saying. So it may help them get better if you talk to them or something."

Kendall finally turned away from the window and looked at his little sister. "When did you get so smart?" he asked in a low voice.

"I don't know," Katie replied with an impatient sigh. "Sometime after you started to teach me stuff not to do." She shook her head. "You're changing the subject. I'm giving you a little bit of tough love here bro. Go in there!" she moved behind Kendall and started to push on his back, moving him towards the door.

Kendall hesitated as hard as he could, even trying to plant his feet on the ground, but his sister continued to push him forward and he knew that he didn't really have a choice. He had to go and see his friends. Kendall stretched out his arm and grasped the cold handle of the door walked in, Katie following him into the room. They heard the monitor by the two boys' sides, the continuous beep, made sure that there was no silence.

The two of them could hear Logan's and Carlos' shallow breath as they walked in further and watched them as their chests fell and rose. Collapsing in the closest chair, Kendall scrutinized Logan and his condition. Without all the tubes hooked up to him, he could hardly tell that he was even hurt. His face was paler in color and as Kendall touched his hand, it felt cold, too cold to be than what he thought was normal. Kendall gathered Logan's left hand in his and he just held his hand for what seemed like the longest time imaginable, happy to be beside him, even though in the worst of consequences.

"Logie? Logan, can you hear me?" Kendall licked his lips, as if he was waiting for a reply. Katie, who was on the other side of room, watched, eyes filled with sadness as she gently patted Carlos' hand. "It's Kendall." He laughed a little bit. "I wonder if you can really hear me. I mean, here I am blabbing on to you and you're in a coma." He thought that he had finally stopped crying, but he felt tears come up to his eyes again. "I know you can't talk back, but I wish that you could.

Kendall sat in that room and watched Logan and Carlos for so long, that he lost track of time. Their eyes looked as if they would open right there and the two of them would see him and smile. Their faces were just so calm.

"Kendall?"

Kendall turned around and saw his mom standing in the doorway with his sister. He hadn't even noticed that Katie had left the room. He had lost track of time, just wanting to be around his friends, to let him know that he was there for them.

"Kendall, honey," his mother walked into the room and ran her fingers through his hair, causing him to close his eyes at the familiar touch of affection. "Kendall honey, you have to go home."

How many hours had he stared at him, reliving past memories in his head?

"Mom, I can't go home." Kendall muttered.

"Kendall, sweetie, you haven't had a good night's sleep and it's not going to help your friends if you're falling asleep on them." Mrs. Knight gently pulled her son to his feet. "You know that I'm right, honey." Kendall did know that, but he just didn't want to admit it.

"What about if they wake up?" he questioned, still hesitating.

"Then we'll get the hospital to call us so we can come back here." Mrs. Knight replied. "But I don't care what you say, you're going home." Kendall allowed his mother to usher him out of the hospital room. His sister trailed along beside them, briefly looking up at him and back at the ground, as if she was making sure that he didn't disappear right before her eyes.

Kendall stayed silent through the car ride back to the Palm Woods. As soon as he got back he went to his and Logan's room, ignored the feeling of the eerie silence, and collapsed onto his bed, falling into a deep sleep.

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**A/N: Next chapter brings in other characters from the show. Thanks for reading guys.**


	6. Singing and Swimming

**Chapter Six**

When waking up Kendall realized just how tired he was. He picked up his phone and realized that he had slept the whole day and that it was now 2:00 the next morning. His sleep schedule was completely out of whack and he knew that it wasn't going to go back to normal anytime soon. He lay on his back, an arm behind his head, staring at the ceiling for a while listening to the silence of the room. It was really unsettling as Logan was typically a heavy snorer, although you would never know it by looking at him. And he never realized how much that sound lulled him to sleep, until it was gone.

Kendall frowned and rolled onto his side, looking at the empty bed across the room before getting out of his and walking over to it. The bed was still made from before the accident as Logan was the only one that always made his bed after he got out of it. He always wanted things so organized and neat that it clashed with Kendall's side of the room, which wasn't neat at all. But it just showed that they were two different people and that it worked with their friendship. He continued to look over the bed before laying down on it, pressing his face into Logan's pillow and smelling his friend on it.

After a few breaths Kendall quickly got off of his friends' bed, wiping his eyes as tears came up again. He stood in the middle of the floor, looking lost as there was a soft knock on the door. Kendall reached over and opened the door, not really surprised to see Katie standing there. But he was surprised to see tear tracks on her cheeks and immediately felt guilty for not realizing how much this was hurting his sister as well as himself. Wordlessly he lifted Katie into his arms and gave her a tight hug as she threw her arms around her neck and hugged him back, just as tightly.

"When I heard that some of you guys were in a coma I thought I had lost you," Katie whispered through her tears, sniffling loudly. "Now I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if you had…"

"Shh," Kendall stroked the back of Katie's hair as he tried to get her to stop crying, putting his own feelings on hold for the time being. "Shh, I'm ok, everything is going to be ok." He walked over to his bed and gently laid his sister down on his bed before crawling in next to her and pulling the covers up over the both of them. "Everything's going to be fine, Katie." He stated as he brushed away her tears.

"Kendall?" Katie asked quietly as she turned on her side to face her brother. "Will you sing to me?"

"Hmm," Kendall raised himself, holding his head up with his right arm. "What song do you want me to sing?"

"Sing dad's song," Katie replied quietly, as if he was afraid of his reaction. Kendall stared hard at her before smiling softly and gently stroking her cheek.

"Sure," he replied and thought for a second before taking a breath and singing quietly. "I wish I had your pair of wings, had them last night in my dreams. I was chasing butterflies, till the sunrise broke my eyes." He wiped more tears off of Katie's cheeks as she smiled softly.

"Tonight the sky has glued my eyes," Katie took over, causing Kendall to smile as he hadn't heard his sister sing in a while. "Cause what they see's an angel hive, I've got to touch that magic star, and greet the angels in their hive."

"Sometimes I wish I were an angel, sometimes I wish I were you." Kendall started singing again, noticing that Katie was starting to drift off. "Sometimes I wish I were an angel, sometimes I wish I were you." He smiled and gently kissed Katie's cheek, pulling the covers up over the two of them and closing his eyes.

He was awake an hour later, not being able to completely get to sleep and abandoning the idea all together. Quietly, he got of his bed and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt, pulling up the hood before grabbing the key to the apartment and slipped outside. He wandered around the halls of the Palm Woods, the silence from each hall wasn't helping him feel any better. It was like his skin was crawling, he was so uncomfortable.

Finally, he went down to the Palm Woods pool and stared at the silent water, the reflection bouncing off of his clothes making everything have a light blue hue to it. He took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his pants legs, sticking his feet into the water. A small smile formed on his face when he remembered how just a few days ago he and his friends had won the volleyball competition in that pool.

Logan had given them the stats on each player on the other team, telling the guys where their best and worst positions were. Carlos, being the hyper one, even getting hyper off of life, had managed to return every ball that had come his way, even if he had to dive to get it. James, being the tallest could easily spike the ball back over the net, or set it up for Kendall to hit it back over the net. And Kendall as usual was the leader, always encouraging his friends and laughing along with them even if they had done something wrong. And in the end they ended up winning by one point. After getting the trophy they had tried to do what hockey players did and drink out of the top of the trophy. But what ended up happening was Carlos was to take the first sip of the smoothies they had dumped in there and Kendall had an idea. He looked over at James and Logan and knew from the looks on their faces that they immediately knew what Kendall was up to. As Carlos tilted the trophy up to his mouth, the three of them sprang forward and forcefully tilted the trophy back so all of the smoothie fell onto Carlos, causing him to shriek at the cold.

The three boys burst out laughing and ran away as Carlos tried to give them hugs in retaliation, covered in the cold liquid. That was the same day that they had gotten the news that they were going to be going to the party that had changed their lives forever.

Kendall sat at the edge of the pool, thinking for about twenty minutes. Finally, Kendall pushed himself forward and dove into the Palm Woods pool. His clothes instantly filled with the water and he held his breath as he sank to the bottom. He sat there, thinking of everything that had happened and wondered if the accident was supposed to happen to them, to tear him and his friends apart or to bring them together. He wasn't sure, and he definitely couldn't be sure if his friends died. But he refused to think about that, he didn't want anything else to happen to them.

The way he saw it, he wouldn't mind if Logan and Carlos stayed in a coma, as long as they didn't die. Then he wouldn't have to feel as guilty.

Suddenly, he heard a crash above him and knew that someone had jumped into the water. He felt a hand on his arm and then felt himself being pulled up to the surface. He sputtered and coughed as his head broke the surface. The same person that had pulled him up from the bottom of the pool grabbed him under the arms and pulled him over the side, heaving him out.

Kendall wasn't sure what he had just done. He wasn't committing suicide or was he? He didn't want to die, but when he was underwater he felt as if everything had melted away and that he could finally forget everything.

"Kendall, are you ok?" a familiar voice asked as Kendall shook his head back and forth, water droplets flying off the ends of his hair, and water still dripping out of his soaked clothes. "Kendall?"

Kendall turned his head to the side and saw Stephanie King, Carlos' girlfriend, sitting next to him on the concrete, pajamas soaked with water and breathing heavily. Kendall nodded.

"Yeah," he took a breath and swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine." He wiped water off of his face and gave a small smile. "What, were you making a movie?"

"No, my apartment is over there," Stephanie replied and pointed to a room that was behind the balcony that sat over the pool. "I thought I heard someone out here and I saw you sitting by the pool. So I came down here to see what was up," she explained, gathering her long hair into a ponytail and squeezing out the pool water. "And when I got here I didn't see you around and then I saw you at the bottom of the pool."

"Well, thank you." Kendall squeezed water out of his sweatshirt. "I must have slipped or something."

"You're welcome," Stephanie replied as she placed a hand on his shoulder kindly. "I'm just glad that you're ok." She gave a soft smile. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to you too."

Kendall stared at Stephanie and noticed the look of pain in her eyes. She and Carlos had been going out for about a month and a half so he knew how badly she must have felt about what had happened. Everybody at the Palm Woods probably knew what happened by now, even his own girlfriend Jo. She hadn't been around yet, but then again, Kendall had been back at the Palm Woods for very long.

"Steph," Kendall breathed, wiping water off of his face again. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault Kendall," Stephanie replied as she patted him on the arm. "Just remember that."

* * *

**A/N: Just so I can get this cleared up, this is a NON INCEST STORY, just brotherly/sisterly love. The song that was used in this chapter was An Angel by Declan Gailbraith, you HAVE to listen to it, it's a really moving and powerful song and I definitely needed a story like that in my story. I hope you guys liked it.**

**-Riley**


	7. Refusal

**Chapter Seven**

"Kendall, I don't want you to sit in the apartment all day waiting by the phone," Mrs. Knight stated gently as she sat down at the end of the couch and watched her son, who was lying on his stomach, staring at the phone as if he was willing it to ring. "You're just going to cause yourself to become depressed if it doesn't ring."

"I don't care." Kendall stated, blinking quickly. "I'm not leaving the apartment. Not after…" he trailed off, not wanting his mom to worry about him even more. And she would, especially if he told her about what had happened at the pool earlier that morning. "I'm just not leaving."

"Kendall, sweetie," Mrs. Knight ran her fingers through her son's hair. "I promise that as soon as someone calls, I will come and get you, but I want you to get some fresh air, talk to your friends-"

"My friends are in the hospital," Kendall replied. "I put them there, and I don't know how I did it."

"Your friends at the hotel," Mrs. Knight replied patiently. "I mean, your sister is down by the pool, why don't you go down and watch her for me."

"But mom-"

"Kendall," Mrs. Knight was slowly losing her patience. "I don't want to have to fight with you about this. I can see that that you're upset, but you can't just stew in your own guilt and sadness and fear. Instead you have to try and take your mind off of it and do other things."

"In other words, you're not giving me a choice in the matter," Kendall replied simply.

"You're right." Mrs. Knight replied and patted her son on the shoulder. Kendall let out a huge sigh, as if he was trying to make his mom change her mind, and when she continued to sit next to him, he let out another huge sigh and dragged himself off of the couch and left the apartment.

As soon as he stepped into the Palm Woods pool area, he heard his name called. "Kendall!" he stumbled back a few steps and blinked as he looked down to see the familiar blonde head of his girlfriend, Jo. "Kendall, I'm so glad that you're ok." She looked up at him with worried brown eyes when she realized that he wasn't hugging her back. "I'm so sorry to hear what happened. The others-"

"They're fine." Kendall replied dully. "At least as fine as you can be with a broken foot or being in a coma."

Jo looked up at her boyfriend, studying him, and she could tell that even though he was trying so hard to be the normal Kendall and act like nothing was wrong, he was definitely hurting. His green eyes which usually held a lot of life looked unfocused.

"Kendall, do you want to talk about it?" Jo asked quietly as she reached for her boyfriend's hand.

"No!" Kendall replied sharply, pulling his hand away as he took a step back. Jo looked hurt as Kendall continued to back away. "I need to be alone." He looked around the Palm Woods pool and saw Katie talking with Tyler. "You guys can look after Katie. Tell her I'll be back soon."

With that he turned and walked away.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I know, a really, really short chapter. But it was made to be this short on purpose, just to show how much this is really affecting Kendall and how he reacts to everyone else. Constructive Criticism is welcome and I hope you guys are enjoying it.**

**-Riley**


	8. Katie

**Chapter Eight**

Katie sighed heavily as she watched her brother snap at his girlfriend and storm out of the Palm Woods pool. What had happened was Jo's fault, so she didn't understand why he was getting at her. She shook her head and turned back to Tyler, trying to figure out what he was talking about. But she couldn't stop thinking about the boys, her brothers, who were in the hospital.

As long as she could remember, Logan, James, and Carlos had always been there for Katie, even if her brother was around. She even remembered one time when she was four, she was with her brother and his friends at the park and she was playing in the sandbox as Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos were playing with their Pokémon cards or something.

She was minding her own business, when all of a sudden another boy about the boys' age had grabbed a hold of her shovel and was trying to take it from her. Of course Katie was the kind of person that hated it whenever someone stole her things, so she held onto it tightly and tugged it back. But this caused the boy to pull even harder, knocking Katie over and taking her shovel, starting to run away with it. Katie had started to cry loudly and it immediately got the boys' attention.

Kendall hurried over to his sister and started to check to see what was wrong as Logan, Carlos, and James chased after the boy. Being the overly hyper person that he was even at seven years old, Carlos let out a loud scream and tackled the boy to the ground by jumping on his back. James then pinned the boy to the ground (making sure that he didn't get any dirt on any of his clothes) as Carlos threatened to fart in the boys face as Logan went into a long speech (that held a lot of big words) telling him why he shouldn't take anything from a little girl.

Finally, the boy declared that he was sorry and pushed James and Carlos away from him before running out of the park shouting for his mother.

Katie smiled at the memory. It was one of the many times that the boys were around to help her, and she wouldn't want it to be any other way.

But now…

She gazed around the Palm Woods, feeling a little bored. When all of the boys were around it wasn't boring, it was always lively and fun. Now no one was talking, even Guitar Dude was playing a lot of sad music, which didn't help with her mood at all.

"Katie? Were you even listening to what I was saying?" Katie turned and looked at Tyler, who didn't even look mad. She sighed and shook her head. "I know that you're upset about the guys but they'll be better soon."

"How do you know that?" Katie snapped. "You don't know anything!" she sighed again when Tyler had a hurt look on his face. "I'm sorry, dude, they're just like brothers to me and I can't stand think that they might…" she trailed off and Tyler waited, knowing that he didn't need to say anything right then. "I guess that's how Kendall is feeling."

"Why should he fell guilty?" Tyler questioned. "It was an accident."

"I know," Katie replied. "But I don't think that he knows that.

Even though she wasn't as upset or guilty as Kendall was…she knew how she felt….

* * *

**A/N: Yep, another short one, but this time I wanted to show how Katie was feeling. The story will pick up after this.**


	9. Doctor and Nurse

**Chapter Nine**

_Where am I?_

_Why is it so dark in here?_

_Oh, maybe we're playing a game of hide and seek! Yeah, that's it, we're playing hide and seek and I'm somewhere that's really, really, dark. Well, I don't like the dark, so maybe I should just get out of here… Why can't I move? What's going on? Ok Carlos, don't panic, this happened to you before when you got the concussion. Just don't panic and everything will turn out fine, just like every hockey game or plan that Kendall had thought of. Everything had turned out fine._

_Wait._

_Kendall?_

_Where is Kendall? And Logan? And James?_

_What happened to us? I don't remember anything at all. I can only remember that I had gotten tired when we were at a party for our band or something, and then Kendall was starting to drive us home. And I feel asleep in the backseat. I don't know what happened, or where they are. Maybe I should try shouting._

_No, I can't move my mouth. _

_I'm scared; I don't think that I'm playing Hide and Seek anymore._

_I want my friends._

_I need them here with me; they always know what to do so I'm not so scared anymore._

"What is it, Dr?" Dr. Richmond turned around to see Nurse Michaels standing behind her, a clipboard to her chest. She was sort of young, probably in her early thirties and he could tell from the look on her face that she was really worried about these boys, probably because of the fact that she had a teenage son of her own. "What's wrong with," she looked at her clipboard and then back up at Dr. Richmond. "Carlos?"

"Carlos," Dr. Richmond sighed, as if he was exhausted, and he was, he had been checking on the three friends and all of his other patients all day. "Carlos isn't doing great," he replied honestly and motioned to the boy. "We need to get blood tests and medical imaging done so we can see how bad it is." He moved closer to the bed and motioned for Nurse Michaels to move along the other side.

"You can see here," he pointed to a bruise that was on the side of Carlos' neck and started to move down his chest. "That he has a bruise from his seat belt, we have to check to see if there is any broken ribs or internal bleeding or organ punctures along with other tests." He rubbed his chin. "My assumption is that he moved forward so hard and so fast that the seatbelt cut into his chest before it broke, sending him forward and to get a head injury." He wiped off his hands before walking back to the doorway and leaning out. "Can I get a hand here, I need to get this patient to an MRI, now!"

"Do you really think that there could be bleeding in his brain?" Nurse Michaels questioned as she watched many doctors in scrubs move into the room and start to move Carlos onto another bed before starting to wheel him out of the room.

"It's possible," Dr. Richmond replied grimly. "And we need to look _now_ before we find something else."

"What about his friends?" Nurse Michaels questioned gently. "Logan and James?"

"Mr. Diamond can go home soon; we just have to make sure that he doesn't move too much to hurt his leg." Dr. Richmond replied as he pushed through double doors. "But Mr. Mitchell, he got cut by glass and was lying on the ground for a while, and he got a small infection, from what we've found so far. All we have to do is watch him for a couple more days to make sure that the infection and the fever goes down." He sighed and shook his head.

"They're such young boys and this happened? It's not fair." Nurse Michaels commented as she shook her head.

"You're thinking of your son aren't you?" Dr. Richmond guessed as he stepped back to comfort the nurse. She was his right hand man and they had been working together for years.

"Yes, I am," Nurse Michaels replied with a nod. "And I'm thinking of the other boy, Kendall. I wonder how he's feeling."

"According to his mother, he has been beating himself up for everything that has happened, but it wasn't his fault." Dr. Richmond replied. "But I promise that I will do everything that I can to make sure that these kids go back to their normal lives."

"Then we better get in there."

"Right."

* * *

**A/N: I don't know, I didn't really like the way I had Dr. Richmond and Nurse Michaels talking to each other, I may go back and edit it later because I may actually like it instead. I'm a flip-flopper; I keep changing my mind all the time. I hope you guys enjoyed it and after this the chapters will get longer.**

**Peace.**

**-Riley**


	10. Camille

**Chapter Ten**

Kendall walked around LA aimlessly. Once he had left the Palm Woods, after yelling at his girlfriend, he had gotten a cab and gave the driver some money. He didn't care how much it was, he just wanted to get away from the Palm Woods, as far as he could go, and that got him into the center of LA. Which was fine, as he wanted to be around people that didn't know him, people that would just barely glance at him and continue on their wary. That was just fine. That was what he wanted.

He kept his head towards the ground, shoving through people as he walked along, not caring when they turned and glared at him. It's not like he was able to see them anyway, his eyes were glued to his feet. He didn't deserve to look at anybody in the face.

"Kendall?" Kendall's head whipped up and his heart started to even more when he saw Camille, Logan's girlfriend, standing in front of him, a yoga mat in her hand. Kendall started to move away, not wanting to look at her. "Kendall, don't go!"

Kendall froze where he was, staring at his feet. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Camille look at him, eyes heavy with sadness. He knew that she must be hurting. Her friends, her boyfriend, were in the hospital and they weren't allowed visitors yet. She couldn't see, she couldn't know how any of them were doing.

When Camille had gotten the call about what had happened, it was the next day and she was alone in her apartment, as her dad was out at a meeting. Jo was the one that had called her. She had been crying when she tried to tell Camille what was going on, and it took her a good ten minutes of trying to calm down until she could say those dreaded words 'there's been an accident.'

And at those words, she knew that it was her friends that had been hurt and in that accident. The phone had dropped from her hand and she started to sob hysterically. It could have been her with them; it could have been her, Stephanie, and Jo that had been in the accident instead. She and Jo and Stephanie were at the party with the boys but they had left early as they had an audition or a movie to shoot the next day. Needless to say, they didn't go to the auditions. They had been sitting around the Palm Woods to see if there would be any word. Eventually, Camille started to grow restless and decided to still go to her yoga class, even though the only thing that she could think about was Logan.

And now here they were, and Kendall was about to run away. She could tell from the little bit of information that she was given that Kendall blamed himself. She could tell from the way that he had started to turn away that he couldn't face her. She could tell from the way that he was gripping his hands in tight fists that he was still agonizing over everything.

In other words, Kendall Knight was a wreck.

Camille had never seen him like this before, not even when he and the guys had lost the charity hockey match that they had played in. He just smiled and said that because the four of them were playing together that it was still a good game and that he had fun.

"Stop looking at me, Camille." Kendall said, barely a whisper. "I can't stand it when people look at me like that." He shook his head. "Not since what happened."

"Look at you like what?" Camille questioned gently, tightly holding onto her yoga mat.

"Like they hate me, like the accident was my fault." Kendall closed his eyes and grabbed his hair. "I _know_ it was my fault! And I'm sorry!" he stared to shake his head back and forth faster as he held onto his hair.

"Kendall," Camille frowned, hating to see her friend act this way. "Kendall, no one but you are blaming you for what happened."

"That's the thing," Kendall felt strangely calm as he lowered his hands again. "I don't' remember what happened. All I remember is leaving the party and then waking up in the hospital with cuts and bruises. I don't remember." He cried out in frustration as he sank to his knees, causing people to stare at him as they walked by. "Why can't I remember?" he whimpered. "What's happening to me?"

"Kendall, you're going to be ok." Camille kneeled down by her friend and wrapped her arms around him, holding onto his tightly. "Everything…everyone's going to be ok."

"You don't know that!" Kendall hissed back, harshly. Camille ignored his tone, knowing that he was hurting.

"I don't know it for sure, but I believe that everything is going to be ok." Camille replied.

"No!" Kendall tried to push his friend away, but Camille tightened her grip on him. "Let me go! Let me go!" he started to whimper again. "It's my fault, it's my fault."

"Kendall!" Camille cried as she held onto her friend tightly, trying to keep him from running away. Tears were falling down her face, as they were on Kendall's. "Kendall, I don't blame you for what happened! It wasn't your fault!"

Kendall finally burst out into sobs and buried his face into Camille's shoulder, allowing her to gently rub his shoulders, calming him down…

* * *

**A/N: Chapters get longer after this one.**


	11. Mrs Knight

**Chapter Eleven**

"James is coming home today."

Kendall stopped dead in his tracks, not sure if he heard his mother right. He had just left Camille and had gone back to the Palm Woods, planning on taking a shower and going back to sleep, but her words had caused all of his plans to go flying out the window. His mom was sitting on the couch, obviously waiting for him to get back as there was nothing around her to keep her entertained.

"What?" his voice barely rose above a whisper and Mrs. Knight sighed in only a way that a mother could as she brushed her hair out of her face. Kendall could tell by looking at her that she had been crying, and momentarily felt as if he should be the parent so he could take care of his mom. But he also knew that if he tried, his mom would just push him away.

Kind of like what he had been doing with her.

"James," she sniffed a little and smiled. "He's coming home today, the doctors are releasing him, and we can go get him."

"What about Carlos…and Logan?" Kendall questioned, looking confused. Looking as if he was a little boy that had just lost his favorite toy. But in his case his favorite toy was his best friends.

"They're still running tests on them," Mrs. Knight replied as she shook her head. "But that doesn't mean that they're not getting better, honey."

"Yes it does," Kendall replied glumly and then noticed the expression on his mother's face. He took a breath and forced a smile. "Let's just go and get him." He rubbed his face and made his eyes wider, just to show his mom that he was excited that his friend was coming home. One of them at least. "Where's Katie? I want to tell her the news."

"She's still at the pool." Mrs. Knight replied.

"Ok, I'll go get her and-"

"No, I'll get her," Mrs. Knight replied as she stood up off the couch. Kendall noticed that her hand was shaking but he didn't say anything. "You have to get washed up." She started to leave the room and Kendall followed her with his eyes.

"Mom," he stopped her with the one word. "Do…do their parents know?"

Mrs. Knight hesitated for a second before nodding as she brushed another tear off of her cheek. "Yeah, they're on their way as fast as they can." She gave a smile and turned and left the room to go look for her daughter.

Kendall watched her leave and continued to stand there, looking out the door for the next few minutes.

He knew that something was really wrong, because his mom wasn't talking to her. She was treating him like a little kid. The last time that this had happened was when he was twelve and his grandfather died, even though he understood what death was, his mom still treated him like a child.

He remembered it clearly because he and his friends were sitting in his room playing the Nintendo 64, some Pokémon game that Logan had made them play. Katie, even though she said she had better things to do, was sitting in the corner of the room, pretending that what they were doing wasn't interesting and fun looking to play. Kendall had just finished his turn at a Pokémon battle and was going downstairs to get something to eat. He could hear his mother crying and he slowly walked down the stairs, peering around the corner to see her sitting on the couch, a phone in her hand and a picture face down on the couch next to her.

She was crying so hard that her face was red and that her nose was dripping. Swallowing hard as a bad feeling entered the pit of his stomach, Kendall had continued walking down the stairs and over to his mother, asking what was wrong. She quickly wiped off her face and sniffed hard, composing herself, before telling Kendall that nothing was wrong. He kept asking her and she continued to deny everything, and finally Kendall could tell that she was lying but knew not to question her about it. So he just went to the pantry, got a lot of junk food, and went back upstairs, refusing to tell anyone what he had seen. It wasn't until they were going to his funeral that he knew what was going on. And Kendall hadn't felt more helpless.

But now his mom was doing the same thing now that she did before and it was really scaring him.

…

..

.

"Kendall!"

James' face split into the widest grin that Kendall had ever seen when his friend walked into the room. If he hadn't been in a wheelchair, Kendall was sure that James would have leapt up and given his friend the biggest hug he had ever felt.

"Hey James," Kendall moved over to his friend and bent down, giving him a gentle hug, just in case he hurt his friend. "How are you?" Katie moved over and gave him a hug too, smiling as she took a step back to watch her brothers.

Mrs. Knight was at the front desk, filling out papers so James could officially be discharged from the hospital.

"Not good," James replied seriously, his smile fading. Kendall was about to think the worst when James continued. "The food here sucks, can you _see_ what it's doing to my hair _and_ to my _face_?" he pulled his hair aside and pointed to a small red dot.

Kendall and Katie exchanged glances before moving forward, squinting, trying to see what he was pointing at. "What are you talking about?" Katie questioned as she stood back up and placed her hands on her hips. "I don't see anything."

"Me either." Kendall replied as he moved back to.

"You can't see that _pimple?" _James demanded as he whipped out a small hand mirror and moved and angled it so he could see the pimple, pouting a little. "It's huge; I can practically feel it taking over my head."

"You're being overly dramatic as usual." Kendall replied with a chuckle. Katie looked over at him and could tell, just by looking at his face, that everything that he was saying; every emotion that he was feeling right now was forced. "But I promise," he moved behind James' wheelchair and started to push him out of the room. "That once we get out of here, we'll get you some of that herbal smoothie stuff you like so much."

"But you hate that stuff," James replied as he wrinkled his nose. "Remember? The last time you had it you spat it back out on Logan and said it tasted like tar." He shrugged his shoulders. "How you know that I'm not sure, but whatever."

"Playing a lot of hockey, ice or roller, you get your face pushed into the asphalt at some point in your life." Kendall laughed as he continued to push his friend to the front of the hospital.

Katie followed quietly.

But she was angry.

Kendall was here acting like there was nothing wrong and that James wasn't in a chair and that Carlos and Logan weren't still in the hospital.

Katie knew that Kendall was faking everything that he was feeling instead of just being truthful, like his friends wanted him to be.

It made her mad.

And it wasn't far…


	12. Lies

**Chapter Twelve**

Kendall sat across from James at the Palm Woods pool and watched as he talked to his friends, letting them know that he was fine and that they didn't have to worry about him. He was even grinning when everyone was signing his cast and that was kind of annoying to Kendall.

No, not annoying.

It downright pissed him off.

How could he sit there, acting like nothing was wrong with his friends? How could he sit there and act like nothing was even wrong with him? He had a freaking broken leg for crying out loud, scratches and scars on his cheeks! The works! And he was sitting there, smiling that he had just been kissed by the hottest girl in the world, and it was making him feel…sick to his stomach.

Kendall lurched to his feet and ran out of the Palm Woods pool and to the bathrooms as fast as he possibly could. When he reached the boys bathroom he threw himself at a toilet and barely had time to lift the lid before throwing up. The acid stung the back of his throat and he shook as his stomach let go of the food that he had barely eaten that day. Kendall weakly reached up and grabbed the flusher, easily washing away the evidence of how much he was actually tortured by everything that had happened.

"Kendall, are you ok?"

Kendall sat back on his heels and turned his head to see James slowly wheeling his way into the bathroom, making sure that he didn't smash his hands on the doorframe as he entered. Kendall was slightly surprised that James had caught up to him so easily, but he also wasn't surprised at the same time, as James was a vain person. He would just go right out and say it. The fact that he was so vain caused him to constantly work out in the gym to get good muscles. And because of that and hockey, it wasn't hard for James to catch up to his friend, even if he was in a wheelchair.

"Don't even try and say that you're fine," James interrupted before Kendall could even get a word out. "I know you so well it's like you're a part of me and I can tell when you're upset about something." He warned when Kendall started to open his mouth.

Kendall sighed and shook his head, running his clammy hands up and down his cheeks. James was right, the two…the four of them knew each other so well it was like they were four different parts of the same person. Almost so that they knew that something was bothering them even if they didn't say it out loud. So that must have been what James was feeling at that point.

"It's the wheelchair isn't it?" James questioned as Kendall stayed silent. "And the whole accident. Dude, none of us are blaming you." Kendall still remained silent and James frowned, tightening his grip on the wheelchair wheels. "Or is that what you want?" his voice hardened and Kendall flinched like a little kid, looking over at him fearfully. "Do you want us to say that it's your fault? Do you want us to say that if you, Kendall Knight, weren't driving that none of this would have happened?" James continued speaking even though he knew that it was hurting Kendall to hear his fear being voiced.

"Stop" Kendall whispered, closing his eyes briefly.

"Well, I'm saying what you want to hear Kendall," James raised his voice a little, so he could get his point across. "The accident was your fault." He shook his head so his hair would move out of his face. A move that was usually so gentle now looked angry. "Logan and Carlos, even though they're in comas, they're blaming you as they lay there in that hospital bed." He took a erratic breath. "We're all _blaming you for it Kendall. You're a Big Time Screw Up that ruins everybody's lives._"

"Stop it!" Kendall whimpered and held his hands over his ears, pulling his knees up to his chest.

James finally stopped speaking and looked at the ground for a second before lifting himself out of his chair and gently lowering himself to the floor. He scooted over to his friend and gathered him in his arms, letting him sob against his chest.

James didn't mean anything that he had just said and he hoped that Kendall understood that.

So he could get better...

And stop blaming himself…

**

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I hope you guys are still enjoying this story. We get to Logan in the next one.**


	13. Logan's Thoughts

**Chapter Thirteen**

_Ok Logan, so you know that you're in a coma right now. That much is obvious as you can't really see anything and you're aware that you can't move your arms and legs. But just because you're in a coma it doesn't mean that you aren't going to wake up. You know that, you know everything about comas, so don't freak out._

_That was really bad advice I could have ever given myself, don't freak out. How can I not freak out when I don't know whether or not my best friends are alive…or even if they're ok? I don't even know how Camille is taking this…Camille…I hope she's ok._

_I hope the guys are taking care of her._

_Oh god, I need to know how Kendall, Carlos, and James are doing or I'll go crazy. _

_Let's see, Kendall…well knowing him, he's probably comforting Carlos and telling him and James that everything is going to be fine because life isn't worth living if all four of us aren't there together. Which is sort of a joke because I know that Kendall is the most sensitive one out of all of us, even though he doesn't show it most of the time. He can be stubborn when it comes to showing his feelings about something, but the rest of us can tell what he's feeling just by looking at him._

_James, he's probably staring at himself in a mirror telling himself over and over again that everything will be ok and if it isn't, he'll break his mirror. I've seen him do that before, when Carlos' dog Sparky was sick, before he 'ran away'. I'm pretty sure that none of the rest of us is going to tell Carlos was really happened. But James was there the whole time for Carlos, promising that he would break his mirror and his lucky comb if things didn't turn out fine. And they did._

_Now, if you know that Kendall is sensitive, you'll know that Carlos is a downright baby when it comes to things like this. He is the kind of person that's upset whenever someone isn't smiling and will go out of his way to make sure they do smile. I can't tell you how many times he's done that to me as I've lost count. It's always comforting, but it's also a comfort for me, to try and make sure that Carlos was fine._

_And now I can't do that._

_Please god…_

_Let me wake up…_

_I want to be with my friends…_

_

* * *

_**A/N: I wanted you guys to see Logan's thoughts. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, or I got a spark of emotion from you guys. Along with reading this you should read my and Rhuben's other BTR stories. Mine are: This, Big Time Adventure, Two Is Better Than One, and the With Friends Like These Trilogy. Rhuben's are: Welcome to the Big Time and Big Time Rush of Adrenaline. And don't forget to read the one we're working on together: Big Time Boys vs. Girls. I hope you enjoy all of them and I'll update again soon.**

**Peace,**

**Riley**


	14. Smile

**Chapter Fourteen**

**A/N: This chapter is in Kendall's POV**

Smiling… that's the one simple thing that gives us the best feeling in the world. There's nothing like making someone happy and seeing that smile… you never know if you have just changed someone's life. And according to Logan it's something that you can do to bring up the happiness levels in your body as smiling sends out happy hormones.

Or something like that.

But, what if you're smiling to hide an emotion?

We always associate smiling with being happy but that's not always the case. That's the way with me, at least, since the accident. I smile, even if I am sad. Something inside says that I am not allow to be sad, no one is allowed to be, it's my job to make others happy. Take their sadness and put it on myself…I've been that way for years. I've had to do it for my sister, I've had to do it for my mom, I've had to do it for myself, and now I have to do it for James and for my girlfriend and for everybody else that I know.

It's so annoying and frustrating, but I know that if I'm sad, it will cause others to worry. And I'm tired of them being worried about me. I'm not allowed to be sad.

But I'm not allowed to be sad so where does it go?

Smile real nice. That's it. Nice and wide, now. Make it genuine. Hide the hurt and the pain. Smile to fool. Smile to scare. Smile, smile, smile always smile, with a reason or without it doesn't matter. Or is there a reason? Is it to cover something darker? Like I said before, I smile even when I'm sad so I guess you could say that I smile to hide as well.

I smile to hide the sadness of being alone. I'm alone now. My best friends were all hurt in some way and I wasn't…

I smile to disappear.

I smile to ignore Gustavo's endless screaming at me.

I smile to ignore.

I smile to be ignored.

But it's probably not working, very well. Because everyone that I've ever known, can always see right through my smile.

And that's something that I really…REALLY hated!

* * *

**A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter as well, the story will get even more dramatic in the next few chapters, along with some Kendall angst.**


	15. Please Wake Up

**Chapter Fifteen**

Kendall wasn't sure how exactly but he had made his way to the hospital.

For the past couple of days he humored James, Katie, his friends, and his mother, and tried to show him that he wasn't blaming himself. But inwardly Kendall hadn't changed at all. He blamed himself for every little thing. He blamed himself for the accident, where he still didn't know what happened. He still blamed himself for putting Logan and Carlos into comas, for breaking James' bones and keeping him in a wheelchair, for making his mother worry, and for making his sister act differently.

Instead of the rough and tough Katie that Kendall was used to, he now had a little sister that refused invitations to hang out with the friends that she made in the Palm Woods because she would rather stay in the apartment with James and Kendall all day, even if all they were doing was sleeping. He could tell that she just liked the comfort of being around them and was especially worried about Kendall.

That made him feel bad and touched at the same time.

But deep down he knew that he was just hurting everyone. He was hurting everyone just like his dad had hurt him and his mother and his sister and he couldn't deal with it. He had to get away for a while. So he went to the first place that he could think of where he could talk to someone and have them listen without judging him.

And that's how he found himself by Logan's side, the steady sound of the heart monitor beeping a steady rhythm, letting Kendall know that his friend was still alive, although he felt that he still wasn't able to reach him.

Kendall sat by Logan's bedside for about a half hour before he spoke. He moistened his lips with his tongue, a little unsure of what to say. He felt like laughing, because he never thought that he would ever had to talk to someone in a coma, or at least try and know what he was supposed to say. The idea was just too absurd for him.

Reality was a little to absurd for him right now.

"I-I know you can't see me, but I'm pretty sure you can hear me…." Kendall whispered, hesitantly reaching forward and touching Logan's hand. He was startled to know that it was as cold as ice, but then kept a firm grip on it, afraid to let go. "Well, that's what the nurse said anyway." A slight, quivering smile appeared for an instant on Kendall's chapped lips, and then quickly disappeared.

"I'm not sure what to tell you…" Kendall took a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall down his cheeks as his lips quivered. "People at the Palm Woods are worried about you…" He chuckled a little as he nervously ran his free hand over his pants and continued. "You know I'm worried about you too." He paused, biting her lip. "All of are, Katie, Mom, James." He took a shuddering breath. "Camille."

His heart hurt to know how much pain he was causing his friend. Camille had visited Logan in the hospital every day since the accident two weeks ago and tried not to cry while she was there. But Kendall knew from Jo and Stephanie's reports to Katie that she would burst into sobs every time she got back to her apartment.

They tried speaking directly to Kendall, but he wouldn't answer them, he was afraid that he would just make them even madder. The only people that he really talked to were James, his mom, and Katie, and he barely talked to them as it was.

"I-I don't know what I'd do if you never get out of this….your or Carlos…I've heard some people are in comas for decades." He paused for a minute, as if hesitant to continue, tears silently rolling down his cheeks.

"And when they wake up they don't remember anything…anyone." He looked towards the ceiling, tearing his eyes away from Logan's pale face. "What would be worse? Having you here, alive and awake, but with no memory of me, or us? Or just dead?" He thought about it for a minute and then looked down at Logan's face again, tightening his grip on his hand. "I guess they'd be about the same. But please, don't just lay there. That's the worst thing you can do. Making me wait here, not knowing if you can hear me, and not knowing if you'll ever wake up." Kendall gazed at his friend tearfully, one second away from losing it.

"I used to protect you, Logie. I was the one that made sure that you, and James, and Carlos didn't have anything bad happen to them." Kendall squeezed his eyes shut, his tears falling off of his face and dripping onto his sheets. "I wanted to be sure that all of us had fun and that nothing could bring us down because together, we were strong." He opened his eyes gain. "But now I can't do anything. I just feel so – helpless!" Kendall leaned forward and pressed his face against the bed, his tears instantly soaking the sheets. "Please don't do this. Please. Wake up, Logan. Don't do this to us. Please, Logan….. Please…"

Kendall continued to cry, heavy sobs wracking his body.

He was crying so hard, shedding so many emotions that he had held inside him for so many days that he almost didn't feel Logan's hand gently squeezing back…

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**A/N: After this chapter it goes to show a lot more people instead of just Kendall and how he's feeling. The last chapter, in case anyone was wondering, was like a peek into Kendall's thoughts. So I hope you enjoyed that, and I hope you enjoyed this one too. I'll update again soon. Kendall starts to reach the breaking point in the next chapter if you like Kendall-angst.**

**Later,**

**Riley**


	16. James and Katie

**Chapter Sixteen**

Katie found James sitting beneath a small oak tree in Palm Woods Park, apparently lost in thought, looking out at the expanse of the park. Ever since Kendall had snuck off, James had fallen quiet. But that didn't surprise her, everyone was quiet lately, even herself, and it was staring to get on her nerves. She wanted people to say exactly what was on their minds, but they were always afraid of hurting each other's feelings.

Even hanging out with Jo, Camille, and Stephanie wasn't as fun. They weren't sure what to say to each other without offending each other. Camille and Steph were on edge because their boyfriends were in comas and Jo felt guilty because her boyfriend blamed himself for the whole accident and every time they were together he yelled at her. She didn't know what to do or to say to him anymore.

Katie sighed as she shook her head. She tilted her head back and looked up at the sky. The cloudless sky was an artist's pallet: a beautiful mixture of crimsons, oranges, and soft pinks, gradually fading away to the deep violet blanket of night as the sun slowly disappeared over the horizon.

Katie wondered what she was supposed to say or do; she hesitantly walked closer to James, stopping just next to the tree. He wasn't in his wheelchair, but there were a pair of crutches beside him. He hated the wheel-chair and refused to use it, even after the doctor said that he couldn't use the crutches for a few weeks. But James could away be stubborn.

Seeing that James didn't notice her standing next to him, Katie decided resignedly that she would have to speak up.

"Everyone...everyone's been looking for you." Katie stated, rubbing her hands on her pants legs. "Especially mom." She chuckled a little. "You know how she is." She paused and there was still no answer. "It's getting dark, so I offered to help...I'm glad I found you." She spoke quietly, and he didn't look up until she had finished. His eyes held a soft sorrow in them, and she knew what he had been thinking about...

"Oh...sorry, I just wanted some time alone. I guess I didn't notice how long I'd been out here..." He spoke, but his words were empty. His thoughts were elsewhere...they were somewhere she wasn't; somewhere she could never be.

Katie tried to swallow the lump in her throat; she didn't like not knowing how to help people when she felt so helpless herself. Kendall was her rock and he wasn't there to comfort her. She looked away slightly, nodding.

"I understand...if you want, I can go back to the others and tell them...I'm sure they'll understand, too." Not hearing a response from him, Katie began to walk away, only to turn back slightly. She looked at James; he seemed so far away, unreachable.

The look in his usually warm green eyes was now sorrowful and distant.

"I don't know what to do with myself." James stated after a second. Katie watched him, waiting. "Every day, I keep waiting to see the guys walk through the front door with a big grin on their face, playing a joke on us. But I know that that's not true."

"James," Katie didn't know what to say. No one knew what to say lately.

"Do you want to know what the worst part is?" James questioned, still not looking at her. It was as if he was talking to himself, not to her. Just talking to calm himself down. "My parents aren't here. Logan's parents aren't here. Carlos' parents aren't here. No one is here."

"James, your parents are getting here as fast as they can." Katie stated as she placed a hand on his shoulder. She was shocked to feel him shaking. "They've been having a hard time getting here, I don't know why exactly, but Mom says they're going to be here tomorrow at the latest for sure."

"It'll be good for them," James nodded. "For Logan and Carlos, that they're parents are going to be there." He nodded even more. "It'll be good for them."

"It'll be good for you too." Katie kneeled down in front of James and gently wiped away the tears that fell down his cheeks. She felt like crying as well and it broke her heart to see her brother and his best friends this way. "James, everyone is here for you, even Kendall, even though he is having his own problems."

"I'm here for Kendall too!" James replied, finally starting to sound like himself. "But he just has to be a stubborn ass like we always know he is and deny that something is wrong with him." He even started to laugh a little. "Just like when we were kids."

James remembered it clearly. There were so many times that Kendall had bossed them around and had become stubborn to have things done his way that caused all of them to get into fights. Like this one time that Kendall said that he could take care of Katie and help the guys with their math projects in freshmen year and would refuse to get any help from anyone else. He and Logan ended up doing the math projects themselves, although Kendall bossed Logan around. Then he annoyed James and Carlos who were keeping an eye on Katie by snapping at them and saying that he could handle it himself.

It was almost as bad as the time that Kendall was so stubborn that he wouldn't let the guys do what they wanted when they were waiting for tickets to a hockey game they really wanted to see. Logan, James, and Carlos wanted to go to the mall, but Kendall made them stay at the house as he called place after place to get the tickets.

At the time James was seriously annoyed with it, but now he would give anything to have it back. Instead of the Kendall that walked around as if he was in a trance.

"Kendall has some things that he needs to get through," Katie stated, although she wasn't sure if she believed what she was saying. "He'll be fine." She gently tugged on James' arm. "Come on; let's go home so we can get something to eat."

James smiled faintly when he felt his stomach growl.

"Yeah," he nodded once. "Good idea." He allowed himself to be hauled to his feet and balanced against the tree he was sitting against as Katie got his crutches for him. "Thanks" he flashed a quick smile and moved the crutches under his arm pits. "C'mon." With a quick toss of his head James and Katie slowly started to make their way back to the Palm Woods.

It was odd, once the accident occurred; everyone had been treating them differently. Like they were afraid they were going to say something wrong, or that they were going to offend someone. Even Bitters acted differently. Katie didn't even feel that she wanted to play pranks on him or annoy him anymore. He just sat at his desk and watched them slowly move by, an odd expression on his face. Katie couldn't picture what it was, but she knew that it was really weird.

By the time that they had gotten to the elevator, James was jokingly complaining about his armpits hurting, but that it was worth it as many girls were paying attention to him and signing his cast.

"Leave it to you to boost up your confidence even when you have a broken foot." Katie commented as she rolled her eyes.

"Well, I have to do something to have a good self esteem while my foot is in this cast." James replied with a grin. "The only thing that I can complain about is not being able to get around as fast and the fact that my foot itches like crazy."

"How's your arm?" Katie asked, motioning to the one that was wrapped in a bandage.

"Still sprained," James replied simply. "But it should be fine soon."

The elevator doors opened and the two went over to the apartment. Katie opened the door and stepped inside, yelling 'we're back' just in case her mother was in the back room. But she was in the living room and she wasn't alone. James' eyes widened when he saw who it was.

"Mom, Dad." He breathed.

* * *

**A/N: And here's the next chapter. I hope that you enjoyed this one and don't hate me too much because I didn't talk more about what happened with Logan. But it'll get back there soon, so don't worry. Have a good thanksgiving and happy holidays!**

**-Riley**


	17. Carlos and Stephanie

**Chapter Seventeen**

Stephanie sighed as she walked into the hospital, pulling her jacket closer around her. She never liked hospitals; she always had the feeling that they were cold, even if it was the hottest day of the year. It was probably the atmosphere, people were always admitted to the hospital for whatever reason and now it was hitting her hard.

Especially because it was her boyfriend that was here.

But Carlos wasn't the only reason that she was there, as per Jo's request, she was looking for Kendall. He had been there all day and Jo was starting to get worried because he wouldn't answer her calls, but at the same time didn't want to go and see him herself because he had yelled at her each and every time she tried to talk to him so far.

She went over to the front desk and asked for directions to Carlos' room and headed over, knowing that Logan's room was close by and that she would find him along the way.

As she walked, she thought about how Carlos had first asked her out. He was really nervous when they were hanging out that day and she couldn't understand why. They had hung out with each other before and had had a lot of fun, even if he was being really goofy, but that day was different. After he helped her make a movie, Carlos had grabbed Stephanie's arm and dragged her off to the park, where they spent the day playing on the playground. Stephanie found herself having a lot of fun, especially when they had jumping contests from the swings and when they saw how long each other could hold onto the merry-go-round as the other person spun them around as fast as they could.

Finally, as it started to get dark, Carlos just flopped down onto the grass and stared up at the sky, waiting for stars to appear. Stephanie hesitated before joining him and was soon was rolling around on the ground with laughter as Carlos made up stupid stories of how each constellation got its name. She had finally stopped laughing to see Carlos staring at her and as she was suddenly self-conscious she asked why.

Carlos just smiled in reply and kissed her before asking her out and of course Stephanie said yes.

That was about a month and a half ago and now she was visiting him in the hospital. She knew that it would happen eventually, as he was always doing crazy stunts to have fun, but she didn't think it would be to this magnitude.

Stephanie sighed again and moved her hair out of her face as she stopped outside of Carlos' room. Before she could go in, she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head to see Kendall slowly walking towards her.

"Kendall," she greeted gently. He stopped walking and looked at her. Stephanie almost cried out in shock when she saw how hollow his eyes looked. "How's Logan?"

"I thought he was waking up," Kendall replied shortly. "I felt him squeeze my hand a little and I thought he was waking up," he shook his head and looked right into her eyes. "The doctor said it shouldn't be much longer now, the fact that he grabbed my hand means that he can hear me."

"That's great," Stephanie smiled softly. "Camille will be so happy."

"Yeah." Kendall replied shortly. "I'm going back to the apartment."

"Talk to Jo," Stephanie moved in his way, making sure that he listened to her. "She's really hurting and your yelling at her all the time isn't helping." She gently grabbed her arm. "Just talk to her, tell her everything you're feeling and you two will feel better."

Kendall pulled his hand away from her. "Later Steph." He muttered and walked away.

Stephanie shook her head as he left her.

Typical Kendall; always too stubborn to show what he was thinking or feeling whenever his own feelings were concerned.

Stephanie took another breath, readying herself, and walked into Carlos' room. The sound of his heat beat, accentuated by the loud beeps on the monitor that was attached to him reached her ears first, as it usually did when she visited him. It just made things more real to her. She pushed up the sleeves of her jacket and walked over to Carlos, forcing cheerfulness into her voice.

"Hey Carlos, how are you doing today?" she knew that it was stupid to ask him question, but the doctor said that talking to him could help him wake up faster, so she was going to do it. "I'm doing great, school was quiet as usual. But I guess you know why." She chuckled as she moved over to the side of his bed and grabbed onto his hand, gently rubbing it with her free one. "Kendall was just here, the doctor said that Logan may wake up soon."

Still silence.

Still the sound of his heart beat.

"Just so you know the girls and I, all we've been doing is listening to your guys' CD." She dug into her pockets to grab the iPod that she snuck in. The doctor had also said that listening to your favorite music could help a coma patient. "I brought it along with me."

She turned on the iPod and stuck the ear buds into Carlos' ears, making sure the volume was on a low level.

"My favorite song is Big Night," Stephanie continued to speak. "And you know why." She added with a chuckle. As the CD ran through, she continued to watch his face, to see if there was any difference. "I miss you." She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips lightly. "But you know that I'm not going to give up on you."

"Ms. King?" Stephanie turned around to see Nurse Michaels walk into the room, with a clipboard in her hand as well as a thermometer and a few other things. "I need to get some of his vitals and I'm sorry, but I need to ask you to leave for a few moments."

"Alright," Stephanie gave an understanding smile and turned to get her iPod, but found that she couldn't move her hand. Confused, Stephanie looked over at Carlos' face and her eyes widened when she saw his eyebrows twitching. "What?" she gasped.

Nurse Michaels moved closer, to hurry her up, but stopped when she saw that Carlos was moving. The teen and the woman watched as Carlos' face continued to twitch and then, to their amazement, his eyelids fluttered.

Stephanie held her breath.

Carlos' eyes slowly opened and he looked around the room, closing his eyes and opening them a few times. Trying to get used to the light. After his eyes roamed around the ceiling, they finally moved down and landed on Stephanie.

A small smile appeared on his face.

"Hey Steph" he whispered quietly.

A tear of happiness fell down Stephanie's cheek.

He was awake.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, so this chapter was centered on Carlos and Stephanie, the next one is on Logan and Camille, then James and his parents, then Kendall and Jo. But you guys aren't going to know what happens in each one and they're going to get even more dramatic and angsty as each chapter moves on. So I hope that you guys are ready for it. I'll update again soon.**

**-Riley**


	18. Logan and Camille

**Chapter Eighteen**

_Dear Logan,_

_I feel really stupid right now. And I don't know why I'm doing this. Josays that it will be good for me to get my feelings out somehow. I guess when you think of it, it isn't such a bad idea, but I think it will be a little hard._

_I know everyone cares about me a lot and that they're worried about me, but I just want some time alone. I guess they thinks I've been getting too much time to myself. Honestly, I think so too. But I'm just not ready to go out and live again. Maybe, the only thing that's holding me back is me. Maybe I'm just scared of finding something more. It seems really dumb though. The more time I have to myself, the more time there is to think. And the more time there is to think, the more time there is to cry._

_The worst part about having to write you this letter is that after every sentence there's a short but long pause. It's like I'm waiting to hear your voice say "It's going to be okay." I keep waiting to have you beside me so that I can rest my head on your strong shoulder like I used to whenever I was upset. And that makes me even sadder because I know it isn't going to happen._

_I've read somewhere that the longer your run from something, the harder it is when it catches up to you. I hate to agree with it but in a way it's right._

_I've also read that being depressed can really affect the others around me. I know that's right, Kendall had been acting depressed, although I know that he doesn't want to admit it. I guess I've been acting depressed as well. What does that say about me? No one knows what I'm going through. I want to claw someone's eyes out. Can you believe that? I've never been a violent one. But you can't blame me for that._

_Do you remember the time that you helped me for an audition? And I always told you how no matter what, I wasn't going to give up. Then you'd pinch my cheeks and say the words "my little activist". I remember how much I hated it when you treated me like some adorable niece. But now I miss it like crazy._

_It's funny. Jo said these letters would make me feel better, but it only makes me feel empty knowing that I won't be receiving a response. I'm confused too. Should I feel happy that I've been able to get so much out on paper? Or should I be sad that there is so much to talk to you about?_

_Anyways I have to go now. My dad is taking me fishing later on. I love him to death but I think he's trying too hard._

_Love always, Camille_

Camille sighed as she folded up the letter and pressed it into Logan's hand. It was the first letter that she had written, or at least, the first letter that she had written that didn't get her tears all over it. Jo had suggested that she try writing a letter to Logan, just so if he woke up he would be able to read what she had been going through.

It helped a little, but it still didn't help the empty feeling that she had every time she woke up and realized that her boyfriend was still in the hospital.

"I have to go, Logie." Camille sighed as she gently ran her fingers through her boyfriend's hair. "But I promise I'll come back tomorrow." She smiled a little. "Some people think I should stay away for a few days, but you know me, I could never leave you alone." She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Logan's forehead. "I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I know, another short chapter. But I think that the letter really summed up everything that was going to be said. I hope you guys liked it. I'll update again soon.**

**-Riley  
**


	19. James and his Parents

**Chapter Nineteen**

James hobbled over to his parents as fast as he could go and dropped his crutches to the ground as he wrapped his arms around his mother and allowed himself to get rocked back and forth as she ran her fingers through his hair, just like she did when he was growing up. He felt another pair of arms wrap around him and knew that it was his father, which surprised him a little.

Mr. Diamond wasn't known for showing any sort of compassion or affection towards his son, as he felt that men's hugging was very weird. Normally the two of them would have man-to-man talks and just end it by high fiving each other. James couldn't even remember the last time that his father had hugged him. And now here he was, hugging his son tightly enough that James felt his arm throbbing with pain but didn't want to complain about it. This was the first time that he had seen his parents in months and he was happy to see them. Unfortunately it was under very bad circumstances.

"Linda, Paul, come sit down." Mrs. Knight motioned them over to the couch and the three Diamonds shuffled over to the couch and sat down.

James leaned over and rested his head against his mother's shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of her perfume. His dad had his arm across the back of the couch in a way that he was touching his son, and so he wasn't touching him at the same time.

James frowned and tried not to let the disappointment overcome him completely. What did he think? That an accident that hurt him would cause his father to change completely? He should have known that that wasn't going to change, no matter how old James got.

He remembered a time when he, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall were on a hiking trip with all of their fathers, shortly after Kendall's father left him and his family. (So when they were about eight) James, Carlos, and Logan tried the best they could to make sure that Kendall didn't feel left out, even going as far as to say that their dads were now Kendall's dads as well. Kendall was definitely happy about that, it was one of the many times that he was proven that he had the best friends in the world. Of course during that trip James and Carlos started arguing about who was the better hiker, so they made a bet to see who would get to the top of the mountain first. Kendall was all for the competition and Logan, being the worrywart that he always was tried to talk them out of it. (Of course it didn't work or else it wouldn't be James and Carlos.) So while their fathers were taking stock of everything, James and Carlos started to race each other to the top of the mountain, Kendall followed them and Logan stayed back for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. Of course he ended up following them anyway; he hated to be left behind when his friends were up to something.

So that's when it happened. James and Carlos were running up paths and climbing over rocks as fast as they could, shouting insults along the way. They were trying to climb up a narrow tunnel that held rocks around the sides, and the rocks were very slippery. Carlos made it up, and James could swear it was because he was part spider or part monkey, really fast, just by wind milling his arms and legs. James tried to get up, but slipped and fell back to the ground, breaking his arm and spraining his ankle. Carlos hurried back down to his friend to try and help him and to get him to stop crying. (Although if you asked him now, James would completely deny that he cried.) Kendall and Logan had heard James scream and ran up the rest of the trail to find them as fast as they could. Once they were all together, they argued over what to do, try and get him up and walk him back to their parents or wait until their fathers got there.

Well, they didn't really have to wait long, as their fathers had noticed that they were all gone and had heard James' scream so they rushed up the trail as fast as they could and found them in only a matter of minutes. As Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were yelled at by Mr. Mitchell and Mr. Garcia, Mr. Diamond walked over to his son and lifted him up into a sitting position, ignoring his son's wince of pain as he was moved.

"Are you alright, James?" Mr. Diamond asked.

"Yeah," James' lower lip trembled as he nodded. He used his good arm to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. "I broke my arm and I think I hurt my ankle, Dad." He replied.

"Let me see," Mr. Diamond kneeled down and looked at James' ankle, it wasn't swollen, but he could tell that James would have trouble walking on it as he tried to get back down the trail. "You'll be fine James." He looked at his son, his eyes filled with disgust. "And stop crying, it doesn't hurt that much!"

"Ok" James replied, still whimpering.

Mr. Diamond looked around at the others, to make sure that he wasn't listening and then moved closer to James. "God Dammit, James why do you always have to go and make me look like an idiot in front of the others?" he hissed at his son. James' eyes grew wide as he listened to his father. "Now stop crying, act like a man, and man-up."

Mr. Diamond got up and turned to the others, clearing his throat. "He's going to be just fine!" he announced.

"Great," Mr. Mitchell nodded. "I've got an ambulance on the phone and they should be at the parking lot by the time we get back down there."

"Alright, let's go."

"I'm sorry James," James looked up to see Carlos standing beside him, chewing on his lower lip and tugging at the bottom of his shirt. "If I had known that one of us was going to fall I wouldn't have gotten on your nerves and made you climb up there with me." His eyes grew wide. "Do you hate me?"

"It's not your fault, Carlos." James shook his head. He mustered up a smile. "I can't hate one of my best buds."

"Are you ok, buddy?" Kendall asked as he placed a hand on James' shoulder. James nodded, avoiding his friends' gazes.

"I can administer first aid for your broken arm," Logan stated, holding up a small First-Aid Kit. He kneeled down by James and pulled out some bandages. "Now don't move. I need to get this done so we can get back down the mountain." He stated as he started to make a sling.

"How are we going to get him back down?" Kendall questioned. "Your dad's have all of that equipment on their backs; they won't be able to carry James too." He rubbed his chin and then looked over at Carlos. "Do you mind carrying James back down? We can take turns."

"No, I can do it!" Carlos declared. "Anything that I can do to help, this was my fault anyway."

"I told you, it's not your fault." James shook his head.

"Stop moving." Logan commanded and finished up. "There." He smiled proudly as James tested out the sling.

"Let's get going." Mr. Garcia called and waited for James to slide onto Carlos' back before they all started back down the mountain.

James didn't know why he suddenly remembered that trip, but it reminded him why he loved to be around the Knights all the time. Even though their father had left them, they were still a very close and loving family, something that he wished that he had. His mother loved him, he knew that for sure, but he wasn't exactly sure about his dad.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond," Katie spoke up, bringing James out of his thought. "What took you so long to get here? The accident was a week or so ago…"he voice trailed off and she looked at her hands in embarrassment.

"Paul had a lot of things that he needed to get done at the office before we could leave." Linda replied quietly. Mrs. Knight looked at her oddly and James bit his lower lip. He knew what she was thinking. She was thinking the same thing that James was thinking when his parents couldn't make something that he wanted to do.

That his father didn't pay enough attention.

He knew that feeling well.

"Well, did you get all of the details about the accident?" Mrs. Knight questioned, changing the subject. "Did the police tell you?"

"No," Linda shook her head and gripped onto James' hand tearfully. "All we knew, all any of us parents knew was that our kids were in an accident. The Mitchells and The Garcias were hard to get a hold of, they were all out of town and it was hard for them to get places where cell reception worked. But they're going to be in tomorrow morning." She took a breath. "You can only imagine how Lucy is dealing with this." She added, speaking of Logan's mother. "You know how protective she is of Logan; I'm surprised that she allowed him to come out here in the first place."

"I'm surprised you let _me_ out here." James muttered.

"James." Paul said in a low tone.

"Well," Mrs. Knight hesitated, looking at Katie and James, silently deciding whether or not she should tell them what really happened to cause the accident. "The boys were coming back from party that was celebrating their CD doing well in sales and it was getting late. So Kendall was driving on the way home and while the other boys were asleep in the back, he fell asleep at the wheel." She moved her hair from her face, her hands shaking. "Because Kendall had fallen sleep, his foot fell heavily on the gas pedal and the car sped towards the intersection, crashing into the car that was in front of him and simultaneously became side-swiped at the back."

Katie gasped lowly and covered her face with her hands. James wouldn't have thought that she was crying, since she hardly ever cried, until she got up and fled to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"This ended up causing Carlos and Logan to get put into comas, James sprained his wrist, break his leg, and get a lot of bruises, and Kendall has a lot of scratches and bumps." Mrs. Knight continued.

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Linda demanded, her voice shaking.

"I didn't know before, they police, they just told me-"Mrs. Knight tried to explain but Linda wasn't having any of it. Her son was hurt and she wanted to protect him.

"How is it that we're just finding out about this now, this just proves that you don't really care about my son!"

"Mom! Stop it!" James hobbled to his feet and tried to keep his balance as the cast was heavy. He glared at his mom and dad and they stared at him in shock. '_The whole accident really was an accident. None of this was Kendall's fault. He really needs to know that, but first I need to give mom and dad a piece of my mind._'

"James, don't talk to your mother like-"

"Shut up!" James shouted, causing his dad to fall silent. "I shouldn't have to listen to you because it's obvious that you don't care about me. I could have been killed by walking across the street and I bet you wouldn't have batted an eye, while mom would actually care."

Paul shook his head. "James, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do," James replied heatedly. He motioned over to Mrs. Knight, who was crying. "Don't you dare say that Mrs. Knight doesn't care about me because that's not true. She cares about me and Logan and Carlos in a way that we're her children as well as Katie. _She's _the one that has been taking care of us since I moved out here." He shook his head bitterly. "And I doubt that you care that I moved out. I bet you're happy that I'm gone." His eyes turned to his dad. "Huh? I'm sure you're _ecstatic_ that I'm finally gone."

"James," Paul got to his feet. "You better shut your mouth before I shut it for you."

"I hate how all your problems are my fault." James continued, ignoring his father. Ever since I was little, when something happened to you it was always my fault." Tears started to fall down his cheeks but he continued to rant and get everything that he had been holding in off of his chest. "I hate you for making me cry over the stupidest things. I hate you for slapping me in the face that one time because you were mad. I hate it when you tell me you love me, because I hate being so obviously lied to. I hate how nothing I do is ever "right"."

"James."

James turned around and saw Katie standing in her doorway, eyes wide and tears falling down her cheeks. He looked at her and she nodded, encouraging him to continue. Katie, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos all knew how he felt about his father, but he was too afraid to tell him.

James took a breath and turned back to his father, glaring as hard as he could. Paul looked shocked and took a step back. "I hate how you judge me and compare me to other people. I hate how you _think_ you know what's going on inside my head. I hate how you don't try to understand me. I hate how you pretend to care. I hate how you think I'm just a moody teenager."

"James, let your father-"

"I'M NOT DONE!" James shouted, causing his mother to gasp and fall silent again. He looked over at his mother and at Mrs. Knight and his shoulders slumped, suddenly feeling very ashamed of himself. He didn't have to yell at his mother, he didn't have to yell in front of Mrs. Knight. "I hate how transparent your motives are. I hate how you think what I REALLY want to do with my life is ridiculous I hate how you've pretty much given up on me. I hate how you chose your job over me. I hate how you think I have "anger issues" and every time I try to tell you what's wrong, you won't shut up long enough to listen. I hate how hypocritical you are. I hate how you think you're always right. I hate how you put off everything that needs to be talked about because you're too scared to actually deal with something that might make you uncomfortable for two seconds."

James fell silent and waited for someone to say something. Mrs. Knight wanted to say something to make everything seem better; she wanted to pretend that nothing had happened to any of them and that things were just the way that they always were. But she knew that she wouldn't be able to do that.

Katie wanted to run across the room and throw her arms around James in a congratulatory hug. She wanted to smile and jeer in Mr. Diamond's face telling him that he didn't deserve to be James' father. But she knew that would just make things worse.

Linda wanted to go and hug her son and rub his back until he fell asleep and left the worries of the world behind him. But she felt that she couldn't do that. He wasn't a little boy anymore, and he could take care of himself. But the way that he was acting towards her husband had her torn. She knew that her husband had been hard on James growing up, trying to 'man him up' but she also knew that he was sensitive, although he tried to hide it. She felt ashamed of herself for not helping him whenever he wanted her to talk to her husband.

James suddenly felt exhausted and hobbled backwards until he was at the empty chair and sat down across from his parents, glaring at his father. Finally he whispered, "I hate you," and turned away, running his hands over his face.

No one was sure what to say after that. Thankfully the phone rang and it broke the silence. Mrs. Knight hurried over and grabbed it. "Hello?" she asked with a tinge of sadness. "Stephanie? Are you ok, sweetie? What? He woke up, really!"

James and Katie immediately perked up. Katie hurried over to her mother, trying to hear, and James got up from his chair and hobbled over as fast as he could.

"He's really awake? That's great, was Kendall there?" Mrs. Knight paused as she listened. "Then he must be on his way back here, we'll grab him and the others and then we'll be over there, alright? Bye." She turned to Katie and James, unable to mask the smile on her face. "Carlos is awake."

"Any word on Logan?" James questioned as Katie started to jump around, cheering.

"Not yet." Mrs. Knight shook her head.

"Oh," James smiled a little. Sure he was still upset that Logan was still in his coma, but at least one of them was awake.

Paul finally looked up from his hands, as he had been quiet the whole time James had been yelling at him. He understood what his son was saying and didn't know what to do to deal with it, his son hated him and there seemed to be no way that that would change.

Unless…

He looked over at his wife, silently asking if they should go ahead with the plan that they already had agreed on. Linda hesitated and then nodded before turning around to get James' attention.

"We think its best if we," Linda shook her head and tired to collect herself, her fingers at her temples. Finally she looked up at James in determination. "James, we're taking you back home." Linda stated gently yet firmly.

James's eyes widened and he slowly stared to shake his head back and forth, before his eyes darted over to Mrs. Knight and Katie. No, he couldn't go home. Not yet, not when his friends needed him. Not when Logan was still in a coma, not when Kendall had only recently just opened up to him to what he was feeling, not when Katie needed someone to talk to as her brother didn't talk to her, not now. Not when he knew that Carlos was out of his coma. He couldn't go home yet, he just couldn't.

But one look into his parents' faces and he knew that they were serious.

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**A/N: And here's a longer chapter. I really enjoyed writing about James and his family problems. (Since I thought it was kind of odd that Mrs. Knight is the only parent there and that the other parents let their kids go to LA.) And as for the time frame with this story…I don't really know, as I'm just making up chapters as I go along. And time seems to go by quickly so I don't know how to make it that the time passage is realistic. So, that being said, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'll update again soon.**

**-Riley**


	20. Kendall and Jo

**Chapter Twenty**

Jo was shaken awake by her father, and she pushed his hand away, muttering that she didn't want to get up. She was taking a nap after the day she had put into her music at the recording studio, and since Kendall was still avoiding her, all she wanted to do was go on one day at a time, and to get a good amount of sleep. (She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep ever since the accident and it was really starting to take a toll on her.)

"Josephine, wake up." Mr. Taylor stated, firmly shaking her again. "Someone is here to see you."

"Tell them I'm sleeping," Jo replied, reaching down and pulling her covers up over her head. Mr. Taylor sighed and forcefully pulled the blankets off of his daughter. "Dad!" She cried in a whining tone.

"Trust me, Jo," Mr. Taylor ignored Jo's glare towards him. "You're going to want to see him."

"Him?" Jo repeated, brushing her hair behind her ears. "Who is it?"

"Kendall."

With that one word, Jo practically threw herself out of her bed and was running before her feet hit the ground. She ran out of her room and into the sitting area of her apartment, to see Kendall sitting down on the couch, his arms resting on his knees.

"Kendall!" Jo smiled and hurried over to him as he stood up and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Kendall rested his face against her shoulder as he hugged her tightly. "Kendall, you're ok." Jo ran her fingers through Kendall's hair with her right hand as she gently rubbed her left hand up and down his back. "I'm so glad you're ok." She pulled away from him and gently forced him to sit down on the couch.

He lay back, staring straight ahead, eyes clouded.

It was eerie; Jo had never seen him this way. He was usually so upbeat, so happy and willing to do whatever he could to help his friends. But that wasn't the case anymore. She knew now, that the Kendall she used to know had died. He was the one that had been killed in the accident and this Kendall was left in his place.

Jo let out a soft sigh and moved forward, resting her head on his shoulder, giving him time to talk to her, she didn't want to rush him. She was glad that he was there; she was glad that he was talking to her again. She had started to miss him and it hurt her terribly when he continued to yell at her and push her away every time she tried to talk to him.

Kendall suddenly started speaking, and Jo was startled at first, not expecting it. But then she sat up straight and looked at her boyfriend, studying his face, as she listened to him closely. "I can't feel the pain that's deep inside me," Kendall said so quietly it was almost a whisper. "Sometimes I just sit for hours while the darkness swallows me." He chuckled bitterly. "I can't stand people who are trapped in their own worlds." He finally turned and looked at her. "But you're not one of those people, Jo, you are different you understand." He took her hands in his. "You understand _me._ I need you and your help, but I won't allow it. I push you away, just like the rest. What's the point? Why keep going when there's no you? You are me. You're a big part of me; I would be gone a long time by now if you weren't here for me. I feel sorry for you being part of me, but there's nothing I can do but push you further away."

Jo gazed at him, her eyes full of fear and sadness for her boyfriend. She couldn't believe what he was saying, that he felt that he didn't deserve to be with her, when sometimes she felt that it was the other way around. But in actuality, they needed each other as they were soul mates, they were each other's halves, they were parts of each other and they couldn't be whole without the other around

"Don't look at me like that." Kendall shook his head. "It makes me feel even more worthless than I already feel." He moved his face into his hands. "I don't deserve you."

"Kendall," Jo reached out a hand and ran it over Kendall's cheek and into his hair. "Don't ever think that you don't deserve what you have. You have a great mom, an awesome sister, amazing friends, and you have me." She gently massaged his shoulder. "And you deserve to have all of us in your life because you're always helping everyone else and you always try to make sure that everyone is happy."

"But now thanks to me, no one is happy." Kendall muttered. "Everyone is hurting because of me." He shook his head. "It's my fault." He leaned over and rested his head into her lap, falling silent. Jo leaned forward, so her hair fell across his forehead and gently rubbed his back, whispering to him, telling him that everything was going to be ok.

She looked up and saw her father standing in the doorway of the living room, watching the two of them. Usually, her dad would scare any guy that got close to her, but while watching how Jo and Kendall had been going out, he knew that his daughter was in love with this guy. He could tell by the way she smiled and from the look in her eyes whenever she talked about him.

Jo looked at her father and was touched to see that he was smiling towards her. Mr. Taylor turned on his heel and went into his room, to leave the two of them alone.

Jo lightly kissed Kendall's cheek and continued to run her fingers through Kendall's hair as he lay silently on her lap. There was a knock on the door and Jo gently pushed Kendall off of her lap to go answer it. When she pulled the door open she was surprised to find Katie standing in front of her, bouncing up and down on her toes.

"Katie, what's up?" Jo asked quietly, as to not disturb Kendall. "What's going on?"

"Carlos is awake!" Katie blurted out. Jo stepped to the side and looked over at Kendall to see if he had heard her. He was sitting up, looking over in their direction. Katie moved by Jo and plopped down onto the couch next to her brother. "Did you hear me, big bro? Carlos is awake!" The smile on her face was unmistakable.

The news was true.

Kendall stared back at her and nodded…

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**A/N: and here was the chapter about Kendall and Jo, next chapters will have everyone in it. I'll update again soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, you make me smile when I see a review come up in my inbox. I know this is a short chapter; all chapters after this are going to be longer. (I didn't need this to be pretty long as it just showed how Kendall is sinking further and further into depression, while Jo tried to talk to him.)**

**-Riley**


	21. It'll Be Okay

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**-Kendall's POV-**

**

* * *

**It took a while for the news to sink in.

Carlos was awake, he was ok!

I couldn't help but smile the whole time we were going to the hospital. I guess my smiled was contagious as Katie, James, and my mom were grinning like crazy on the car ride there. Camille and Jo were getting a ride with Kelly and Gustavo; they were finally going to go see Carlos and Logan as well. But it made me wonder, why was it that they never visited before? I understand Gustavo not wanting to go but Kelly? She was a good friend to us and I figured that she would be one of the first people that I would have seen after the accident.

But I didn't care, I just wanted to see my budddy, awake and with that bright smile on his face. That was something I really liked about him, no matter how much trouble we were getting in (and it's been a lot of trouble ever since the four of us met) Carlos always had a smile on his face. Even when we were grounded and would sneak phone calls to each other, I could always hear the smile in Carlos' voice as he talked to us. The only time that he ever seemed to not smile is when someone was upset about something; it would usually make him cry as well. But that's just Carlos, he was the sensitive one out of us, and it kept us grounded whenever we got into fights with each other.

All four of us, we're brothers, so we're bound to get in fights sometimes. But Carlos is like our youngest brother, the sensitive one, the one that held us all together.

So that's why it hurt me so badly to see him in the hospital, unconscious. Don't get me wrong I felt bad in general, but being able to hear Carlos say that everything will get better, or to suggest that I think about kittens and puppies and rainbows, made everything seem more real. Especially when I had hoped that it was a dream.

"Hi," Mom stated as she moved to the receptionists' desk once we arrived at the hospital. "We're here to see Carlos Garcia."

I looked around the hospital, watching as nurses and doctors scurried past. There was a family, much like mine, that was sitting in chairs nearby, cheeks stained with tears and their eyes red. Surely they were there for a family member, or just someone close to them. I knew exactly how they felt; it reminded me of how hysterical I was when I had first woken up.

_The next thing Kendall knew, everything had turned black, and when he woke up, he was being treated by some doctors while he was looking up at the white ceiling. He tried to ask what was going on, but the doctors worked so fast they were out of the room in seconds. Kendall had checked his arms and legs and then went over to the small mirror that was over the sink in the room that he was in. He had a small cut on his cheek that was covered with a bandage and a small bruise above his eyebrow._

_Confused, he left the room and looked around, seeing doctors and nurses rushing back and forth down the same hallway, not noticing that he was standing there. He was jostled a few times and noticed that there was some blood on a few of their scrubs._

_"Excuse me?" he tried to get a doctor's attention but they moved right by him. "What's going on?" he tried again, but was still annoyed. He started to walk down the hallway, determined to find answers, but the answers came to him._

_"Kendall Knight left the accident with a couple of scrapes and a bruise," a nurse was saying to the doctor down the hall. "But his friends weren't so lucky." She heaved a heavy sigh and looked older than her years, a combination of stress and of worrying about the teenage boys. "James Diamond is unconscious, but his body is responding to what we're doing for him. He has a broken arm, some broken ribs, and a sprain ankle." She let out another sigh, shaking her head. "Logan Mitchell and Carlos Garcia are both in comas; we're not sure about the extent of their injuries."_

_"Thanks for telling me, Nurse Michaels." The doctor replied as she heaved a weary sigh himself. "What we should do is…"_

_Kendall couldn't hear what the doctor had said. There seemed to be a roaring in his ears, he felt dizzy, and sick. Thankfully he collapsed into the chair behind him, seconds before the tears came._

He knew how anyone that was waiting for news of a loved one in the hospital felt. Depressed, angry, confused, hopeful, and also holding a feeling of dread. But he now knew that hospitals weren't only a place where bad things happened, miracles happened there to.

"Kendall?"

I looked around and saw Katie standing by me, her hand in mine and looking up at me with her big brown eyes. '_Katie is such a great sister_,' I thought to myself as I looked down at her. '_She never gave up on me and she never gave up on the guys. That's all that I could ask for out of her, especially when I've been such a bad brother in return._'

"Kendall, we can go and see him now," Katie stated and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, waving it around. "Jo says that she and Camille will be here in a few minutes, they got stuck at a series of red lights a few cars back, but they'll be here." She turned and held her other hand out and lightly grabbed onto the bottom of James' shirt. "C'mon."

With that, Katie, James, and I slowly started out way to Carlos' room, mom was going to sit back and wait for Kelly, Gustavo, Jo, and Camille to get there so she could show them the way before she joined us. I barely heard her say it, all I could hear the sound of my heart pounding against my ribcage. I was going to be able to see Carlos; I was going to be able to apologize.

I was going to be able to see his smile again.

How long has it been since the accident? It seems like eternity. I know that James and Katie felt the same way; we were all pretty restless back at the Palm Woods. Me especially, I know that I've hurt so many people just because I have been battling emotions that I didn't want to show, I didn't want to let out.

I tried to tell Jo, but…I didn't think that was a good idea. I explained a little bit of what I was feeling, but not everything. I don't want her to worry about me.

I looked up as I saw a grim-faced doctor walking towards us, but his eyes were on the group of people that were sitting on the hard plastic chairs, waiting. The same way that I was waiting for my mom and sister, waiting for the time that I would wake up from my nightmare.

I turned around and walked over to the group of people, looking directly at the mother. She lifted her head and looked up at me with red-rimmed, watery eyes.

"It'll be okay," I reassured her the best I could, willing her to believe that I was saying. "Whatever has happened, things will be ok." I patted her on the hand gently and turned and caught up to my sister and James again and we went to Carlos' room.

I pushed open the door and went inside, a smile crept onto my face when I saw Stephanie sitting on the side of Carlos' bed, talking happily to him, a wide grin on his face. Carlos was beaming as well and when his eyes turned to us as we entered the door, his face split into a grin so wide I was surprised his lips didn't fall off.

"Kendall! James! Katie!" He cried, waving enthusiastically. "Hey guys! It's great to see you!"

"It's good to see you too, Carlos." Katie replied and moved forward, giving him a big hug. "I missed you back at the Palm Woods, no one to help me mess with Bitters." She hesitated for a second and then kissed him on the cheek before giving him a hug again.

"Aww, you're sweet Katie." Carlos said and then he looked over at James and his eyes immediately flooded with concern. "Oh no, James, are you alright?" Typical Carlos, wondering about others before himself.

"I should be asking you the same thing." James slowly moved his crutches down onto the other side of the bed and leaned forward, giving Carlos a hug and messing up his head. "Ugh, being in the hospital this long as totally dried out your hair, dude." He stated, and that made me smile, knowing that James was getting back to his normal self.

But what if I didn't return to my normal self?

'_Don't worry about that now,_' I scolded myself, shaking my head. '_Think about Carlos_.'

"Hey man," Carlos grinned up at me and opened his arms for a hug.

Of course I had to give it to him; I couldn't not give Carlos a hug. Not with a smile like that on his face, I could see it in his eyes, he forgave me, I didn't deserve it, but Carlos held no hard feelings towards me, and that made me happy. Happier than I have ever been recently.

"Carlos," Camille smiled as she, Jo, Kelly, Gustavo, and my mom walked into the room. "I'm glad to see that you're ok."

"Well, he's not _completely_ ok," Stephanie spoke up; she had her hand in Carlos' and was gently rubbing it with her thumb. "The doctor's said that he has a severe concussion and may have some trouble remembering things, as well as having bruised ribs and a sprained ankle." She smiled. "But he's going to do just fine."

"That's good to hear," Kelly smiled and walked over to the other side of the room and dropped a vase of brightly colored flowers onto a nearby table. "I hope these make you feel better." She turned back to Carlos and the rest of us. "I'm so sorry that Gustavo and I haven't been here earlier."

I looked over at Gustavo and wanted to laugh when I saw how uncomfortable he was.

I wanted to.

But I didn't.

"I was having such a hard time convincing him to come see you," Kelly continued and walked over to Carlos, gently patting his shoulder and then gave it a squeeze. "But apparently he's scared of hospitals, or just really doesn't like them." She then smiled over at her partner and our music producer, who looked up and nodded. "But I finally got him here."

"Thanks for coming, Gustavo." Carlos smiled and nodded.

"And your parents are on their way as well," Mrs. Knight stated, smiling fondly down at him. "I know they're going to be so happy to know that you're awake and already regaining your strength."

"So what things does he not remember?" I questioned, smiling down at him a little. Just to reassure him in case he had any doubts of me being happy.

"Just some things from a couple of months ago," Stephanie replied. "He doesn't really remember that you're in a band, where you guys live, and some other stuff like that." She smiled. "But we can help him remember."

"Of course we will," Jo agreed. "He's our friend and we're willing to help him with everything."

"He's not just our friend," I stated, looking at James, who smiled and nodded back. "He's our brother. Ever since we were young we laugh at the weirdest things. We help each other through the bad times. We talk about everything...politics, movies, and books. We leave no topic unexplored. We tend to agree on things, so no heated debates have arisen, but I'm sure we'll find something to disagree about. And once we do, we'll argue. We'll yell. We'll hurt each other. But in the end, I'll be right back with you, laughing about something stupid."

"Ain't that the truth" Katie muttered and smiled as I lightly hit her on the arm.

"You're one of our best friends." I continued, sometimes when I get like this I can't stop talking. It was the same way when we had first moved here to LA and was thinking about quitting and going back home. I need to show my friends that we needed to do this. "Our amigo. Our buddy."

Suddenly there was a loud sniffing sound and we all turned to see Gustavo standing in the back of the room, hastily rubbing his eyes.

"That was so beautiful," he said in a high-pitched voice.

"Gustavo, are you crying?" Mrs. Knight asked, looking over at him oddly.

"No," He replied loudly, rubbing his eyes still. "I just have something in my eye." He turned away and continued to rub at his eyes. "The dogs, I must be allergic to them or something."

"Or something" James replied, rolling his eyes. He smiled over at Carlos. "It's good to have you back man."

It is.

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**A/N: Next chapter gets into Logan's thoughts again. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, thank you for all of the reviews. It really makes me smile when I see them; you guys are inspiring me to write more (although I bet you hate me since the chapters are short.) Haha. I'll update again soon.**

**-Riley**


	22. Brothers

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

"Hey Carlos, do you want to go see Logan?" Katie asked, rubbing his arm. She mustered up the best smile she could. "He's doing great, um," she rubbed the back of her neck. "He hasn't woken up yet, but he's still doing great."

James looked over at her and then frowned as he watched his friends, no, his _family_, talk to Carlos. He had been standing in the corner for the last half hour as he watched them all. Jo, Camille, and Stephanie treated him as if nothing had changed. But when they left (after Camille stopped by briefly to talk to Logan) they had started to tear up again. He thanked them silently, for not letting Carlos see their tears and become concerned, he always did, since he was the sensitive one. He didn't want Carlos to become even more upset. Then he watched as Gustavo and Kelly talked to him happily, glad that he was ok, and he was surprised because he never thought that it was physically possible for Gustavo to ever be happy. The only time he had ever seen him even remotely close was when he was in his 'kid mindset' after his claimed that his mansion got flooded and stayed with the boys for a while. Other than that, all he did was yell.

Sort of the same way that James yelled at his father.

Despite the circumstances, James smiled a little. It felt good…no…_great_ to be able to tell off his father. To finally tell him what he felt about his dad and everything that he had bottled up ever since he was young had finally come out.

_"James, let your father-"_

_"I'M NOT DONE!" James shouted, causing his mother to gasp and fall silent again. He looked over at his mother and at Mrs. Knight and his shoulders slumped, suddenly feeling very ashamed of himself. He didn't have to yell at his mother, he didn't have to yell in front of Mrs. Knight. "I hate how transparent your motives are. I hate how you think what I REALLY want to do with my life is ridiculous I hate how you've pretty much given up on me. I hate how you chose your job over me. I hate how you think I have "anger issues" and every time I try to tell you what's wrong, you won't shut up long enough to listen. I hate how hypocritical you are. I hate how you think you're always right. I hate how you put off everything that needs to be talked about because you're too scared to actually deal with something that might make you uncomfortable for two seconds."_

_James fell silent and waited for someone to say something. Mrs. Knight wanted to say something to make everything seem better; she wanted to pretend that nothing had happened to any of them and that things were just the way that they always were. But she knew that she wouldn't be able to do that._

_Katie wanted to run across the room and throw her arms around James in a congratulatory hug. She wanted to smile and jeer in Mr. Diamond's face telling him that he didn't deserve to be James' father. But she knew that would just make things worse._

_Linda wanted to go and hug her son and rub his back until he fell asleep and left the worries of the world behind him. But she felt that she couldn't do that. He wasn't a little boy anymore, and he could take care of himself. But the way that he was acting towards her husband had her torn. She knew that her husband had been hard on James growing up, trying to 'man him up' but she also knew that he was sensitive, although he tried to hide it. She felt ashamed of herself for not helping him whenever he wanted her to talk to her husband._

_James suddenly felt exhausted and hobbled backwards until he was at the empty chair and sat down across from his parents, glaring at his father. Finally he whispered, "I hate you," and turned away, running his hands over his face._

James couldn't believe that his parents were going to try and take him home. Well, there was no fucking way that was going to happen. Even if he had to keep sneaking back to LA, he was going to be there for his best friends, his brothers. He was going to help Kendall, even though he knew that Kendall would completely deny that he needed it. He was going to help Katie and Kendall to talk openly with each other because James knew that's what Katie wanted the most. (She wanted her brother back.) He was going to help Carlos remember everything that he needed to remember so he could be his crazy friend again. He would wait around the hospital as long as he needed to, to make sure that Logan woke up and knew that he never gave up on his friends.

Even when his parents had given up on him.

"Yeah, let's go see Logan!" Carlos cried, his eyes lighting up even more. He looked over at James and smiled so brightly he wondered if he even heard Katie when he said that Logan hadn't woken up yet.

Then he wondered whether or not he remembered that Logan was in the hospital. But he didn't want to say anything, he was afraid that the new of what his parents would come out and for now the focus had to be on Carlos.

James waited as Kendall and Katie gently helped Carlos out of his bed and into a wheelchair (it was obvious that Carlos didn't need it but the hospital thought it would be a good idea for a while) and he slowly moved beside them as they went to Logan's room.

He smiled as he remembered the last time that the four of them were in the hospital together. They were eleven, maybe twelve, and were messing around in Kendall's backyard. It was then that Kendall noticed their old tree-house, still up in the tree and suggested that they should climb up it and see if there was anything still up there. Logan, of course, immediately said it was a bad idea. He knew that they were too big and too heavy to all fit up there. But Carlos and James immediately agreed Carlos because of the adventure of it and James because he wanted to know if he had left his prized possession (an old Pokémon card from his Pokémon obsession) in there.

So of course Kendall, James, and Carlos clambered up the ladder and into the tree house as Logan paced below, looking at the branches of the trees, sure that it was going to fall down. But when the guys started to laugh and talk loudly about the things that they had found, Logan sucked it up and climbed up with them, immediately smiling when he remembered how much fun all of them had up there. But, he knew that it was coming soon, but not that fast, as soon as Logan had climbed up, their combined weight caused the dead tree branch to crack loudly. The four of them held their breath, not wanting to move an inch. But it didn't matter, as soon as Carlos sneezed (which he totally didn't mean to do) he moved forward, shifting most of the weight to one side and the tree house went crashing to the ground.

Mrs. Knight came flying out of the house before any of the guys knew what had happened and they were whisked off to the hospital. Kendall had broken an arm, Logan had a lot of cuts, bruises, and sprained his wrist, James had a nasty bump on his head, and Carlos had broken and arm as well. He should have been hurt worse, but his helmet saved him from it. The boys were rushed to the hospital and treated quickly. They were all pretty much ok and as they were being looked over they continued to ask to see each other. Finally, the doctors put them all in one room and they started planning what they were going to do that night, as if they hadn't just fallen out of a tree.

Things back then were much simpler.

Unfortunately when you grew up, things got complicated.

Life got in the way.

* * *

_Ok Logan, you know that some time has gone by because Camille has been here a lot more lately and they don't allow anyone to be at the hospital unless its visitor hours. I hope she's doing ok, she sounds fine whenever she comes by. But then again…Camille is an actress and a great one, so she could be hiding her tears from me. Ugh, I wish I could wake up so I could comfort her and tell her that everything is going to be ok._

_I wonder how the guys are doing._

_I hope Kendall is doing better than he was before, it's times like these that Carlos would be jumping all over the place, trying to get us to smile and then two seconds later we'd all be laughing so hard that tears would come spilling down our faces and our stomachs would hurt. I hope he's doing ok too, and James, and Katie, and Mama Knight, and Jo, and Stephanie, and everyone that could be worrying about me. Uh. I hope they're all ok._

"Hey, buddy, how's it going?"

_Oh my god, it's Carlos! He's awake! If I could move I would jump up and give him the biggest hug that he's ever been given. All of them. It's so frustrating. I can hear all of them talking to me, and I can't show them that I'm ok. I was sure that I was waking up that one time I was able to grab Kendall's hand, but apparently not._

"We wish that you could show us that you're ok."

_Aww Katie, I knew that you cared about us, even though you always denied it. You're not just Kendall's little sister you know? You're Kendall's, Carlos's, James', and my little sister and we wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. I'm glad that you come by to talk to me, I need the company sometimes._

"Hey Loge," a pause. "I'm sorry that I haven't been around in a while. I've been…uh…kind of busy. But I want you to know that I haven't forgotten about and I wish that you were awake right now."

_Kendall…yeah I'm sure that you were 'kind of busy'. You're always so busy thinking about how everyone else is feeling that you never let out your own emotions and I'm sure that's what the problem is here. I can tell, something is really bothering you, but like usual, you're too much of the 'leader' to tell anyone what's up. You're not just our leader Kendall, you're our brother, and we're your friends. We're there for you to talk to us, so why don't you?_

_I wanted to cry, I couldn't stand not being able to see any of them or being able to help them. All I can see is blackness and it's getting harder and harder to remember what anybody looks like. I wish I knew what was wrong so they doctors could hurry up and fix me._

"Hey Logan, its James. Well, I can honestly say that you've looked much better; I wish I could fix this. I can't, well, I guess you know that. We have to go soon, but I promise that I'll be back to see you again later."

_James, he was hiding something too. Something big. He always made jokes when he was nervous and the joke about my face was the biggest clue that I could have ever given. If I wasn't in a coma like this, I definitely would be able to help him. That's what was special about our friendship. He came to me for help and I would do it no questions asked. Not that our whole friendship isn't special…but we each have a different relationship with each other compared to the one that the four of us have._

"I have to go back to my room now Logie, and Kendall, James, and Katie has to go back to…uh…wherever we live. But I'll see you later."

_Carlos…I guess he got a bit of brain damage or amnesia. Pretty common if you have been in an accident like we have. Huh, what was that? I felt something against my forehead._

"I love you buddy."

_It was Carlos._

_He gave me a kiss on the forehead._

…

_I love you too, buddy._

_

* * *

_**A/N: So you have all the boys together again, talking about what happened and Logan's thoughts at the end. This isn't a slash story, but I thought it would be nice if Carlos gave Logan a kiss on the forehead at the end, because I feel that it is something that Carlos would do. Next chapter as a brotherxsister moment with Kendall and Katie and a whole friendly gathering with everyone. I hope that you guys like this chapter and I'll update again soon.**


	23. Family

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

James was gone…his parents took him back home no matter how much he and his friends protested.

Carlos wasn't the same…he still had amnesia and forgot the Palm Woods, some of their friends there as well as forgetting some of the fun times they had together.

Logan was still in a coma…and no one was sure if or when he would wake up.

'_It's not fair_' Kendall thought to himself as he rolled over his thoughts about his friends. '_Everything bad seems to happen just because of me._' He sighed heavily and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, once again, noticing the silence since Logan wasn't there. '_Maybe there's something that I can do to fix it._'

"Kendall."

Kendall rolled over to face Katie, as she was standing by his bed. He could tell just by looking right into her eyes that she was as sad and depressed and worn out as he was, but she was getting tired of the way he was acting. She didn't have to say it at all, they just had that connection, that the two of them pretty much knew what each other was thinking without having to question it.

"Kendall," Katie took a deep breath. "Don't be by yourself all the time, ok?" she whispered, looking at him seriously. "Carlos' mom and Dad are here and are taking care of him, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell are here helping mom as well as going to the hospital to watch his progress, and if you're not sulking here, you're out with Jo." Kendall sat up, shocked to see that tears were rolling down Katie's cheeks. "But you don't care about _me_ you only care about yourself!"

"Katie," Kendall started and Katie interrupted him, now full out crying.

"You've been pushing me aside for so long," she cried, rubbing at her cheeks. "You don't get that this is affecting me too, Logan and Carlos and James are my friends too!" She took a deep breath and continued. "I tried to stay strong for you when the accident first happened. But I'm a little kid, I'm scared. Now James is gone back home, Carlos isn't the same, and Logan is still in a coma. Yet you can't seem to grasp the fact that I can't handle all of this! I'm only ten! I need my big brother!" She moved forward and started to hit Kendall on the arms, sobbing the whole time. "You never ask me how I am, you never care how I'm feeling about this whole thing, you've just been caring about yourself. Don't you get it Kendall?"

Kendall desperately tried to grab onto Katie's hands, to get her to stop hitting him, to get her to just listen to him so he could explain why he was doing it. But he couldn't, he couldn't stop her and he couldn't tell her why he was doing it. He just was, and it hit him right then, seeing as his baby sister never cried, how much he was hurting her.

Even when he didn't realize he was doing it.

"It was an accident! It wasn't your fault!" She was shouting now, choking on her words and her tears. "It was an accident! You were tired, you fell asleep at the wheel, you went into the intersection, the other car couldn't stop in time! It was an accident, _you didn't do this!" _She collapsed into his chest, sobbing. "I just want my brother back."

Kendall wrapped his arms around his sister and pulled her onto his lap, burying his face into her hair and gently rocking back and forth, trying to calm her down as well as himself. He started to cry as well. Katie showed him that he really was neglecting her and that he was causing too much trouble because he was acting so depressed. He wasn't acting like the Kendall that anyone knew or loved and it was starting to get to everyone.

He realized that now.

"I'm sorry, Katie." He whispered into her hair, the two of them shaking as they cried. "I'm so sorry." He held onto her tighter, making sure that she couldn't slip away. So she could feel in his heart that he _was_ sorry.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah another short chapter, sorry, friendship moment has been moved to the next chapter, I needed this one to be for Katie and Kendall only. (As well as Mrs. Knight.) *Ducks in cover for those who are mad about that.* I'm sorry its short, but I have to get ready for Spring Semester of college and all that. Plus I'm drawing a lot more pictures. Speaking of that, go to my profile then go to our DeviantArt page. AND WHILE YOU'RE AT THAT go to the profile and look at and sign-up for our characters (The DarkElements/Jacksons). **

**PS - It's going to get back to Logan soon  
**

**Thanks!**

**-Riley**


	24. Best Friends

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Kendall smiled as he sat next to the bonfire, watching as Camille, Carlos, Stephanie, Jo, and Katie talked to each other happily. The reason that they had all gotten together was because they hadn't all had time to themselves for a while and they wanted a reason to celebrate Carlos' being released from the hospital.

Having the Mitchells and the Garcias hovering around all the time, even when they were just going to the pool caused them all to be put on edge. It just caused them to remember what had happened and how Logan was still in the hospital, still in a coma. But they knew that their parents were still worried about each and every one of them. They didn't blame them; it was hard enough having to learn that their kids had gotten into a car accident, but it was worse having to hear it when you were states away and had no news about what happened to them until days later.

Kendall didn't really want to go to the bonfire that night, but after Katie finally broke into his self-depression and helped him realize that he was hurting others more than he was hurting himself, he realized that it was a good thing to do. He needed to be around his friends, and they were his friends. They were the ones that didn't give up on him, no matter how many times he pushed them away. But he gave up on himself, and that's what caused him to lash out at everyone. He was glad that they forgave him though. The only thing that would make everything better was if James was there, instead of back home in Minnesota. That was something else that Kendall was trying to deal with, he knew that the Diamonds thought it was a good idea to take their son, their only son, away from what was causing him pain, having to see Logan in a coma, but it was probably doing him more hurt than good.

Kendall smiled to himself. He could practically see James sitting on the couch at home, acting like a useless lump to try and get his parents to take him back to California. He did that a lot when he was a kid and didn't want to go somewhere, he would just sit somewhere and refused to budge until he got his way. The only thing that Kendall wouldn't believe was that James would give up his hair-care regime to get a point across.

But then again, he had given up on the Cuda products as soon as the accident happened and Kendall had to admit that he looked better without worrying about it.

Kendall sighed and smiled happily as he walked over to the pool and rolled up his pants legs before sticking his feet in the water, remembering how he felt the last time he was there.

_Kendall sat at the edge of the pool, thinking for about twenty minutes. Finally, Kendall pushed himself forward and dove into the Palm Woods pool. His clothes instantly filled with the water and he held his breath as he sank to the bottom. He sat there, thinking of everything that had happened and wondered if the accident was supposed to happen to them, to tear him and his friends apart or to bring them together. He wasn't sure, and he definitely couldn't be sure if his friends died. But he refused to think about that, he didn't want anything else to happen to them._

_The way he saw it, he wouldn't mind if Logan and Carlos stayed in a coma, as long as they didn't die. Then he wouldn't have to feel as guilty._

_Suddenly, he heard a crash above him and knew that someone had jumped into the water. He felt a hand on his arm and then felt himself being pulled up to the surface. He sputtered and coughed as his head broke the surface. The same person that had pulled him up from the bottom of the pool grabbed him under the arms and pulled him over the side, heaving him out._

_Kendall wasn't sure what he had just done. He wasn't committing suicide or was he? He didn't want to die, but when he was underwater he felt as if everything had melted away and that he could finally forget everything._

_"Kendall, are you ok?" a familiar voice asked as Kendall shook his head back and forth, water droplets flying off the ends of his hair, and water still dripping out of his soaked clothes. "Kendall?"_

_Kendall turned his head to the side and saw Stephanie King, Carlos' girlfriend, sitting next to him on the concrete, pajamas soaked with water and breathing heavily. Kendall nodded._

_"Yeah," he took a breath and swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine." He wiped water off of his face and gave a small smile. "What, were you making a movie?"_

_"No, my apartment is over there," Stephanie replied and pointed to a room that was behind the balcony that sat over the pool. "I thought I heard someone out here and I saw you sitting by the pool. So I came down here to see what was up," she explained, gathering her long hair into a ponytail and squeezing out the pool water. "And when I got here I didn't see you around and then I saw you at the bottom of the pool."_

_"Well, thank you." Kendall squeezed water out of his sweatshirt. "I must have slipped or something."_

_"You're welcome," Stephanie replied as she placed a hand on his shoulder kindly. "I'm just glad that you're ok." She gave a soft smile. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to you too."_

_Kendall stared at Stephanie and noticed the look of pain in her eyes. She and Carlos had been going out for about a month and a half so he knew how badly she must have felt about what had happened. Everybody at the Palm Woods probably knew what happened by now, even his own girlfriend Jo. She hadn't been around yet, but then again, Kendall had been back at the Palm Woods for very long._

_"Steph," Kendall breathed, wiping water off of his face again. "I'm sorry."_

_"It wasn't your fault Kendall," Stephanie replied as she patted him on the arm. "Just remember that."_

"I still don't blame you, y'know?"

Kendall turned around and saw Carlos, Stephanie, Jo, Camille, and Katie standing a few steps behind him, smiling down at him, and looking sad at the same time. Tears pricked at Kendall's eyes.

Logan and James should have been with them.

"I never will." Stephanie continued and shrugged, smiling as she looked down at him. Kendall scanned the others' faces and smiled back.

"I know," he whispered in reply, rubbing his wrist. "Thank You."

They were his best friends.

All of them.

Best friends.

They are the friends you can always count on. Some of these people are people that only a few get to meet. That person is called a one-and-a-million person. They help you out when you need it, they are always there. A best friend is always there; always there to give advices, or a simple chat, or even a shoulder to cry on. A best friend listens to your heart. A best friend understands your struggle and brings you back to reality, even though the words may seem cruel. A best friend is always honest. A best friend share their secrets and dreams with me. A best friend never stops believing in you, even if you give up on yourself; he/she believes in the friendship. A best friend lifts your spirit up, whenever you're down. A best friend laughs and cries with you. A best friend knows how you feel by simply looking at your face. A best friend can never be described because the feeling and the love is indescribable.

A true friend is rare. It is a friendship that last forever until the very end. A true friend is more than special. A true friend is a best friend that stays with you through the years.

But Kendall knew that the best friends that he had (his sister Katie, his 'brothers' Carlos, Logan, and James) as well as Camille, Jo, and Stephanie were always going to be there for him. He made a promise that night that he was going to stop blaming himself for everything and get himself help.

He was going to be there for them as well.

* * *

**A/N: This story is going to have 30 chapters. I know that not much happened in the story, but it was a story that was supposed to show how Kendall would react if any of his friends got hurt badly. I think I did a good job with it. I'm glad that you guys are liking the story so much, as I only originally wrote it as a experiment to how I would write angsty Big Time Rush fanfics, not knowing it would become this popular.**

**If you like this a lot, please check out my other angtsy, Kendall centered story called 'You Know You've Done Wrong'. It's really centered on Kendall **_**and **_**WayneWayne, and I think it's really good. Other than that, check out my and Rhuben's other stories. Thanks guys and I'll update again soon.**

**Is there anything that you guys would like to see in this story before it's over?**

**-Riley**


	25. Enough

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

James sighed as he sat at the top of the stairs, listening to his parents fight. It was all they did since they had brought him back to Minnesota from LA, about four months ago. He had perfectly healed by then, and was always on the phone with Kendall and Carlos. Kendall was doing a lot better; he talked to his mom and sister and begged them to take him to a psychiatrist so he could deal with his feeling about the accident and his depression.

No one knew that Kendall was actually suffering from depression for a few reasons; Kendall refused to believe it and thought that his feelings were normal, and because they couldn't believe that Kendall Knight, the guy that believed that 'anything (good) was possible' would ever have feelings like that. But he did feel bouts of extreme guilt with the accident and James was glad to know that he was getting better.

Carlos, apparently, had been getting better and better as each day of the four months had passed by. He was starting to remember things and apparently was getting back to his hyper-crazy-loveable self. He would play pranks on people and obsessed with corn dogs again, the only thing that he didn't really remember was that he didn't like school (which he was now surprisingly doing well in) and that he constantly wore his helmet. Now he didn't wear it as much, but he was getting there.

Logan was now put on life-support and was threatened of being taken off of it soon. That was the only dark spot in the whole thing. That and that James wasn't there to be able to talk to his friends face to face and to be there for Logan, to help him wake up. James just knew that if all of them were there that Logan would be fine, it worked countless times before, when one of them were sick or hurt the others would be around and they would feel better that much faster.

But now he was back in Minnesota, being constantly reminded about his friends back home as his fans were asking for autographs or asking about the others, even his schoolmates, those who he used to have a lot in common with were starting to become star-struck with him. It's what he always wanted, what he always dreamed of, but if Kendall, Logan, and James weren't there, he wasn't going to enjoy it.

The fact that his parents were constantly arguing about him and everything else didn't make it any better. It just made him want to leave that much more. Ever since his parents brought him back, he made sure to let them know how much he hated their decision without even asking what he wanted.

It made him hate them that much more.

He sat there for a few more minutes, the sharp words, the harsh tones flying back and forth to each other. He looked down at the plane ticket that was in his hand and the bag that was sitting by him and made up his mind. He grabbed the bag and hurried down the stairs, stopping in the foyer. His parents ignored him as they continued to argue, _about him_.

Linda had realized that taking James away wasn't a good idea after he had gotten home and started to sulk, but Paul continued with the idea, not budging. He thought that keeping his son away from LA would help him become more of a man instead of having to rely on his friends all the time and Linda realized that it was hurting him more than helping him.

James hated that they were fighting, but hated that they were fighting about him even more. After a few seconds of staring at the two of them, waiting to see if they would notice that he was there, but they were too wrapped up in their own problems.

Finally, James just threw his bag to the ground, the loud slamming sound getting their attention.

"James," Linda started to say, but fell silent when she saw the serious look on his face.

"So you're fighting again." James stated and shrugged. "Just like always." He looked back and forth from his mother and father, waiting to see if they had anything to say before he continued. Of course they didn't. "Because of you two I often wonder 'When I grow up, will I be like them?' Will I fight with my girlfriend, or my wife, or whoever and scare my kids? All of this starts from one fight. It started as one fight, then grew to another and another until eventually every word that comes out of your mouth sparks an argument. So next you think about fighting, think about what you have started. You have restarted the cycle of love and hate. I hope you are proud of what you have caused."

"James, you don't understand-"

"No, _you_ don't understand." James interrupted his father. "You two argue and ignore me, you ignore me so much that I wonder why did you even bother to take me here, and I realized that the reason you did this was because of your own feelings. _You_ just wanted to have me back so that you two could be seen as the perfect family." He shook his head. "Well, I'm sick of it." He turned and grabbed his mother's hand and gently kissed her cheek before giving her a hug. "Thanks for fighting for me, mom."

"James, what's going on?" Linda asked quietly, searching her son's eyes. James looked back over at her and she could see it right there in his eyes. He was going back to LA, not for himself, but for his friends, the guys that he had practically been born with.

She smiled and nodded back.

"You don't have to fight for me anymore," James continued.

"What…what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Paul demanded, finally finding his voice as he stared at his son, eyes narrowed in complete anger.

James smiled back at him as he grabbed his bag off of the floor and hooked it over his shoulder. "It means I'm going back home…to LA."

* * *

**A/N: Anti-climactic and short chapter, we all knew that James was going to go back to LA, but it was only a matter of time until then. Five more chapters then the story is done. I hope that you guys liked this chapter and I'm so glad with the positive feedback from this story. You guys are amazing and make me smile. I'll update again soon.**

**-Riley**


	26. Reunited

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

The day was just like every other. Kendall woke to the harsh cry of the alarm that never seemed to go off fast enough despite how much he abused it. It never seemed to die actually and Carlos had tried, countless times to get it to shut off, and he tried a lot. (Mostly trying to smash it to pieces with a hockey stick, but who cares about petty details.) He had nowhere to be until the late afternoon but it was important to keep a regular schedule because if he didn't his life seemed to slip back into the meaningless parade of sleep and work that had nearly claimed his life ever since James left and Logan was put on life support. He got a really small part-time job at a nearby grocery store, just so he didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it.

He showered and dressed getting, "ready to take on the day" as his mother would say. It used to make him cringe and become embarrassed (like most teens did with their parents) but lately it was really helping him. Living in an apartment wasn't as exciting as it had seemed a year ago. After the accident it quickly grew boring and quiet and he really missed the chaos of having his friends around. But hanging out with Carlos was cool, he went through every memory that he could, trying to make sure that Carlos remembered everything again and it was a good way to remember everything for himself.

The countless times he and the guys got in trouble with their parents, but would keep doing whatever it was that got them in trouble anyway.

The hockey games on the frozen lake back in Minnesota.

The group costumes they came up with on Halloween.

The countless Christmas they spent with each other.

The many birthday presents.

The many pranks.

All of it, Carlos was getting there, almost remembering everything and Kendall was glad. He was the same old Carlos, minus as few memories, and he had even started to wear his helmet again, although he wasn't exactly sure why. He just had a feeling that he was supposed to wear it. Katie helped them as well, she constantly pranked Carlos (after listening to Kendall's plead to leave him out of it) to try and help him remember. It was fun for her and it was a good way for him to remember all of the trouble that she and the guys got into. It didn't work all the time but she still enjoyed doing it. Kendall smiled as he watched her latest attempt; she was sticking his hand in a cup of water as he laid down on the couch, asleep.

It was a classic, but it never got old.

Kendall smiled as he grabbed his wallet off of the kitchen table, shouted bye to his mother, and left the apartment, smiling even wider.

For some reason he knew that that day was going to be a good day.

* * *

"Well Mister. Knight, I can see that you've made a lot of progress over the past four weeks, I don't think you're going to need me much longer." Dr. Reed contemplated as he looked at the brunette in front of him. Kendall gave a short smile and a frown immediately replaced it. "Is something wrong?"

"No, just thinking." Kendall replied as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. "I mean, considering my girlfriend, my sister, and my friends are watching me all the time, to make sure I don't do anything, it can get pretty nerving. But I know that they're doing it to help me." He shrugged. "Just thinking."

"But what do your friends think of these appointments that I have been having with you?" Dr. Reed questioned calmly.

"My friends are being very supportive, and that's a good feeling, so I guess I'm doing fine." Kendall replied after a second of silence.

"That's good." Dr. Reed nodded and looked over at the clock. "Well, that's all the time we have for today, I'll see you this time next week?"

"Yep," Kendall nodded and stood up, brushing off the seat of his cargo shorts. He kept his head up as he moved out of the office building and twisted his mouth to the side as he thought, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to take a bus or a taxi back to the Palm Woods.

"Need a lift?"

Kendall looked over at Carlos and laughed a little when he saw that he was sitting on the hood of a Porsche, grinning like a fool. "Where did you get the car keys to Gustavo's car?" Kendall asked, still laughing as he walked over to his friend. "And why do you even think that it's a good idea to drive, you don't even have your license…_and_ there are still some things you don't remember, how do you think driving is a good idea.

"The hand is quicker than the eye," Carlos replied with a grin. "And you can't live life without any risks." He added.

"Trust me, I'm not risking my life with you driving," Kendall stated and reached out a hand and wiggled his fingers. "Hand it here and I'll drive." He ignored the rush of the memories of what happened the last time that he drove. He was getting over it, if he drove now it would be one step closer to finally getting closure. "Where do you want to go? I was going to get something to eat."

"McDonalds?" Carlos's face lit up and Kendall chuckled.

"Sure, if you want." Kendall replied and Carlos shouted 'yay' as if he was a little kid and raced over to the passenger's side of the car and quickly got in. Kendall walked around and opened the driver's side door and slid into the car, rolling down the window at the same time he put the car key into the ignition.

Kendall pulled out of the parking lot of the psychiatrist offices and drove to the nearest McDonald's. They went through the drive thru and then headed back to the Palm Woods. To keep from getting distracted, Kendall kept his food near his feet, and kept his eyes on the road as Carlos quickly dug through his food. "So what are you going to say when Gustavo finds out you took his car?"

"That I can't remember ever taking it." Carlos replied with a grin. Kendall shook his head at the thought. He laughed. "He probably won't go with that, hm, let's see-"

"Don't worry about it buddy, I'll deal with Gustavo." Kendall replied, smiling serenely, sounding like the old leader that he used to be. "I always do.

"He's going to kill you, you know." Carlos pointed out as he rested his elbow against the window and rested his cheek on his open palm. He looked over at Kendall, his brown eyes etched with worry. "You're not thinking about trying to get away from us, are you?"

Kendall pulled up to a red light and turned to Carlos, grinning. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Carlos grinned back before he reached forward and turned on the radio. Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA was playing and although neither boy really liked the song, they sang it as loud as they could the way home. The feeling of happiness was just contagious and it was really something that they needed. When they got back to the Palm Woods, they stopped by the pool to talk to Jo, Camille, and Stephanie for a few minutes, before going back to the room.

Kendall was putting his key into the lock of their apartment, 2J, when he heard the sound of jingling bags heading their way. Carlos innocently looked over his shoulder to see who it was and his mouth dropped open. His face frozen in a shocked expression, he reached over and poked Kendall repeatedly on the shoulder.

"What, Carlos?" Kendall snapped to his friend, turning to look at him. Carlos grabbed Kendall's chin and turned his head in the direction that he was looking and his mouth dropped open as well. James grinned back at them as he continued to walk down the hall, a black bag slung over his arm and the smell of 'Cuda Man Spray following him down the hall. "James?" he blinked, not sure if what he was seeing was real.

"JAMES!" Carlos cried and bounced in place before hurrying over to his friend (shouting 'James' over and over again) and throwing his arms around his taller friend in a tight hug. Kendall then smiled and hurried over to his friend, grabbing him in a large hug as well.

"What are you doing here?" Kendall asked, still grinning.

"My dad was being a jerk and I couldn't stay there anymore," James replied "So I left." Kendall wanted to ask him about it, knowing that it was always hard for James to stand up to his father, but Carlos just brought them into a group hug again.

Things were almost perfect again.

Almost.

But it was getting there.

* * *

**A/N: I bet you guys really liked this chapter, I wanted it to be a happier one as the story ends. The next one will be up soon. Thank you guys for reading this story (no matter how short the chapters are), you all are really great. I'll update again soon.**

**Cheers,**

**-Riley**


	27. LifeSupport

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Everyone's had someone they know die. It is inevitable that someone will, eventually, and the odds that someone does not have someone they know who has died are slim to none. Because death is a way of life, but you would never expect it to actually hit that close to home. It shouldn't have to your best friends, but it does. It shouldn't happen to your brother or your mother, father, sister, cousin, friend, aunt, uncle…but it does.

Well, out of everyone who has had someone die, how many were standing right next to him or her when they did? How many survived something that the dead person died of? Not many have either, but almost no one had to go through both.

You just can't stop thinking about it. You just think, '_I should have been the one that had to go through surgery. I should be the one dying_.' But you aren't the one there.

You don't have a choice.

Kendall, James, and Carlos knew exactly how they felt. After James had gotten back to LA, they constantly visited the hospital, to talk to Logan and to tell him what was going on in their lives. But they each knew in the back of their minds that they weren't watching Logan get better, they were watching him die. It was something they didn't ever mention to each other, for speaking it out loud would make it true, and right now they weren't going to let that thought come into reality.

The date will be forever printed in their minds.

June 24th, 2010, the day of the accident.

It was really tearing them up, every time they came by, the Dr. Richmond would give them a soft smile and say "He'll make it through." They refused to believe that he was wrong. But his parents they weren't sure of. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell practically lived at the hospital now, they were always by Logan's bedside and Kendall, James, and Carlos had never seen Mr. Mitchell that bad before. Normally he would make sure that he was well groomed and presentable, but as soon as the news got to him all of that blew out the window and all he cared about was his son.

Like he should.

James was a little jealous of the fact that Mr. Mitchell cared about his son so much, when his father didn't seem to care about him at all, but he knew that he should be happy for his friend and he should be thanking him. Whenever he didn't do his homework, or if he was going to run late, Logan was always the one that was there to help him, like a father would and he always (secretly) liked that. For Carlos Logan was the one the he could playfully trick into doing stupid things with him. Seeing Logan's spontaneous side always brought a smile to Carlos' face. For Kendall Logan was the one that kept them all conscientious during their schemes; if Logan wasn't there they wouldn't feel a ounce of remorse if something went wrong or they accidentally hurt someone. Logan was a big part of their group and they didn't know what would happen to them if…he was gone…

* * *

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell," Dr. Richmond got their attentions. Kendall, James, and Carlos looked over at him and they immediately looked away, knowing it wasn't a conversation for them. "Can I see you in my office?"

Mrs. Mitchell looked over at her husband and grabbed his hand for support before the two of them followed him into his office. The coldness and the whiteness of the hospital scared them, and emphasized why they were there. It is so unfriendly. They walk into the office and he gently closes the door behind them before rounding his desk and sitting down.

"Please have a seat" he stated, motioning to the two chairs across from him. Mr. Mitchell tightened his grip on his wife's hand and shook his head.

They were fine standing.

Dr. Richmond stared at them for a second and then sighed. "Very well then. Whatever's most comfortable for you." He looked uncomfortable. "Now, down to business. Logan has been unresponsive since the accident. That's over four months." Tears sprang to Mrs. Mitchell's eyes, but Dr. Mitchell continued to talk. "Having gone this long with him in a coma and showing very little signs of getting better…maybe what's best for him is to take him off of life-support."

"Our son is going to wake up." Mr. Mitchell stated firmly.

"I know you want to cling to that one bit of hope, sir, but think about this carefully. It is costing you hundreds of dollars every day. You cannot afford to pay for this. You will soon be in great debt."

"But," Mrs. Mitchell took a deep, shuddering breath. "He'll get better soon, right?

"I'm sorry, but it seems like he won't make it."

"I don't care!" Mr. Mitchell snapped. "You're keeping him on life-support."

"This might go on for years."

"So what? He'll get better soon. I know he will. I just know it."

"Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, we are not sure he's going to make it. He has not moved, not talked, not thought, not done anything at all. He is essentially a vegetable. I strongly recommend you take him off of life support. I realize this is a hard decision for you, but if you keep him on life support, you will go into enormous debt. That debt will keep you from doing a lot of things"

"I won't let you!" Mrs. Mitchell stated firmly.

Dr. Richmond sighed as he stood up, looking extremely tired and sorry. His eyes were filled with sadness. "I'm sorry," he whispered, moving his hands into the pockets of his coat. "We're taking your son off of life support."

* * *

Kendall, James, and Carlos knew what was going to happen when Dr. Richmond walked back into the room with Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell behind them. The two of them were crying, no sobbing, but they were trying to stay quiet, so no one would panic. But they knew the truth. Carlos' face immediately crumpled and he buried his face into his arms that were resting on his knees. James gently rubbed Carlos' back, staring straight ahead as tears ran silently down his cheeks. Kendall looked over at Dr. Richmond, as he stood by the machines that were keeping Logan alive.

'_Logie, you'll probably never forgive me, but I'm sorry._' Kendall thought to himself, closing his eyes.

He heard a fiddling with the machines and then heard the long held out beep, the sound of a flat line. Kendall leaned over and rested his head on James' free shoulder as he started to cry, reaching his arms out to hold onto Carlos. The three of them were shaking as they cried hard. He could hear Mrs. Mitchell's sobbing in his ears, and it was a sound that he never wanted to hear again, not even from his mother.

Kendall knew that that sound was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

"Impossible,"

Kendall's eyes flew open and he looked over at Dr. Richmond to see that he was staring at the heart monitor, watching as the flat line started to spike every now and then. Kendall's eyes widened and he slowly sat up straight, bringing his head off of James' shoulder.

'_Logie_'

A slight movement caught his eye, a very slight movement. Kendall surged to his feet and stood by Logan's bedside, watching. Yes, there was very slight movement, so slight that Kendall almost missed it. But it was there.

Logan's chest was rising and falling.

Logan was breathing on his own…

* * *

**A/N: YAY! HAPPY NEWS! (Although my thoughts did jump around a lot during this chapter, so sorry if the flow isn't that great.) That's all I need to say. I'll update again soon. Only three chapters left. :)**

**-Riley**


	28. Awake

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

_Ugh, my mom and dad have been by my side for a long time. How long has it been…months? Yeah, I'm sure that's what Dr. Richmond said to them. I can't believe it's been months since the accident, I feel like time hasn't passed for me at all. But then again, I am essentially sleeping, so I guess that is why it doesn't seem like that long has gone by._

_Poor mom._

_I wish that I could do something for her, to let her know that I'm listening to everything that she is saying. She's always begging me to wake up and I really want to, but I don't know why I can't. I want to cry and scream every time my mom, Camille, or the guys (especially Carlos since he's always the sensitive one) comes around. I can't even imagine how much I'm hurting them because I haven't woken up. But at least they haven't forgotten me, or refused to come see me at all. Just being able to hear their voices._

_Wait, why is Dr. Richmond taking mom and dad away from the room? What does he have to say to them?_

"Hey Logie, it's us."

_Kendall..._

_And James and Carlos…_

_I can hear them talking to me about something, but for whatever reason; I know that Dr. Richmond taking my parents out wasn't a good thing. Why can't I know what was going on?_

_Wait, what's that sound?_

_Why's mom crying? Why are mom and dad crying? Oh god, please don't…Dr. Richmond, don't take me off of life-support, I'm here! I'm still here!_

_No, I can hear you, I'm thinking! I have been moving! I'm not ready to die yet; I need to see my mom and my dad. I need to see Camille. I need to see my friends… my brothers. Please don't give up on me. Please don't let me die._

_You're not going to die, Logie. You're not going to allow yourself to give up and let your friends and family down. You're not going to let them suffer so much, you were able to squeeze Kendall's hand that one time, to let him know that you were still there. You know that I'm still here; I know that you guys know that I'm still here or you wouldn't keep coming to visit me._

_I'm going to show you that I'm here. I promise, I'm going to show you._

_No, don't; don't turn off the machine…_

Beep…

Beep…

Beep…

_"Impossible,"_

…

..

.

Kendall's eyes flew open and he looked over at Dr. Richmond to see that he was staring at the heart monitor, watching as the flat line started to spike every now and then. Kendall's eyes widened and he slowly sat up straight, bringing his head off of James' shoulder.

'_Logie_'

A slight movement caught his eye, a very slight movement. Kendall surged to his feet and stood by Logan's bedside, watching. Yes, there was very slight movement, so slight that Kendall almost missed it. But it was there.

Logan's chest was rising and falling.

Logan was breathing on his own.

And as Kendall watched him, refusing to blink, Dr. Richmond, Carlos, James, and Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell gathered around, looking at the young teenage boy. His face was pale and his hair was lackluster (as James pointed out a lot in hopes that Logan would wake up and tell him off.) But as they watched they saw Logan's cheek twitch a little, as his chest continued to rise and fall. They continued to stand around him for a few minutes, watching in silence as Logan's facial features continued to twitch.

"C'mon buddy," James breathed as he wiped his hands off on his pants legs. "Please come back to us, we need you."

Logan's facial features continued to twitch. His lips moved as if he wanted to say something, but the words just weren't coming to him. Then, finally, a deep breath was released and Logan's eyelids fluttered. Carlos held his breath and blinked rapidly, to make sure that what he was seeing wasn't a lie.

Logan blinked his eyes rapidly before they opened fully and rested on his friends, his face immediately breaking into a smile; much like Carlos did when he woke up…

* * *

**A/N: Yes, another short chapter, but we have Logan's thoughts and….HE'S AWAKE! YES, HE IS FINALLY AWAKE! I thought that putting the end of the last chapter onto this one would be good for this one as well. Two more chapters to go (technically one since the 30****th**** chapter is an epilogue.) Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'll update again soon.**


	29. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

"Logie!" Carlos cried, tears of happiness sliding down his cheeks. "You're awake!" He braced himself and bent down, getting ready to jump on top of Logan, but James and Kendall quickly grabbed him before he could move.

"No! Carlos don't!" James shouted, although he was laughing at the same time.

"He's not fully healed yet, buddy." Kendall added, slapping his friend on the back. He was grinning so wide his face was in danger of being split open. "You have to wait for him to get better before you attack him."

"Right," Carlos nodded and smiled back.

"Oh my baby, you're ok." Mrs. Mitchell cried and moved forward, gently hugging her son. She kissed his forehead. "We thought that we had lost you. I'm so glad that you're still with us, baby."

"I could hear you guys, when you came in," Logan was whispering, as he had a tube down his throat for a long time. It seemed to take all of his power to have talked before so his voice was really soft now. "I could hear you and dad, and the guys crying and I realized what was going on. I knew that I wasn't ready to die and it wouldn't be fair to you guys at all, so I fought as hard as I could to stay alive."

"And it worked Logie," James grinned, brushing the tears off of his cheeks. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Logan laughed, but it sounded more like a wheeze. "It's good to know that all of us are ok." He then looked over at Kendall. "And Kendall?" Kendall raised his eyebrows, letting his smart friend know that he was paying attention. "I never blamed you for what happened. I still don't. I wanted to tell you…"

"I get it," Kendall smiled and grabbed Logan's hand, squeezing it gently. "And thanks."

Logan smiled and nodded back.

"I'm sorry to say this," Dr. Richmond looked baffled but as happy as the others as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the monitors around Logan. "But if you guys want him to get better, it would be good for him to get a lot of sleep, you guys can visit him later, I promise."

"Dr. Richmond," Kendall stopped the doctor and held out a hand. "Thank you for helping my friends."

"You're welcome, Kendall," Dr. Richmond grabbed Kendall's hand and shook it firmly. "I was glad to do it. I hope to see you guys again after this whole thing is over, just not if I'm looking after you guys."

"Deal." Kendall smiled and nodded.

Dr. Richmond let go of Kendall's hand and walked to the break room, to see Nurse Michaels and a few of his other colleagues sitting at a table and eating lunch. Nurse Michaels noticed him and waved him over to their table. "How's your patient doing?"

"Remarkably well," Dr. Richmond replied with a sigh as he placed his clipboard down onto the table and ran his fingers through his hair. "Considering he's awake." He smiled when Nurse Michaels and the other doctors stopped and looked at him. "I know, I didn't think it was going to happen. I had just told Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell that I was going to take their son off of life-support, and I even did but a few seconds after it happened, he came back and now he's awake."

"That's amazing!" Nurse Michaels stated; her eyes wide.

"You know what I think it was?" Dr. Richmond stated after a second of silence. "I think it was because all of his friends were there. It makes sense if you think about it. James was always asking for his friends and healed quickly when he was out of the hospital and around them, the same thing with Carlos; he rapidly regained his memories and got better quickly when he was back with his friends. Kendall had started to show signs of depression and is now going to a doctor to help him with that, and the only reason he had finally gotten over the mindset that everything was his fault because of his friends. They really need each other and it's very refreshing to see them care for each other, especially since people are so independent now."

"Do you really think that their…_brotherhood _is what helped them this whole time?" Nurse Michaels asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Dr. Richmond smiled.

"Yes, I do."

* * *

"So what do you guys want to do today?" Kendall asked as he flopped down on the grass beside his friends. Logan, who was lying on his back, turned his head away from the book that he was holding over his face and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you _always _have to have something to do to have fun?" He questioned. "Why don't you just pick a book and read?"

"Um, because we're not nerds?" Carlos replied, as if it was a question, as he picked at the grass in front of his face. Logan just smirked and lightly hit Carlos on the lower back with his book. "Ouch! That hurts you know!"

"Oh relax, I barely touched you." Logan replied.

"Then take this!" Carlos rolled over on top of Logan and started to try and press his face into the ground. "Hahahaha!"

"Oh, you're going to get it now!" Logan flipped Carlos over and the two started to roll around as they tried to pin the other person to the ground. James and Kendall laughed as they watched the two of their friends try to pin each other. Kendall moved his hair out of his face and looked over at James.

"Hey, why're you so quiet today?" Kendall asked James. "I mean," he laughed. "You're not even looking into your mirror."

"I was just thinking about what happened to us in the last couple of months," James replied as he reached down and picked at some grass that was in between his feet. "I mean, a few months ago Logan was still in the hospital and now here he is, trying to get Carlos to eat a face full of dirt." He laughed as he watched Logan sit down on Carlos' back, keeping him on the ground.

"Yeah, what about it?" Kendall questioned, not sure what James' point is.

"Why do you think it happened?" James questioned and shrugged slightly. "I mean, everything happens for a reason, why do you think this happened to us?"

"For the same reason that we came to LA and to the Palm Woods," Kendall replied simply and then smiled when he noticed that Logan and Carlos were listening to him as well. "To prove people that anything is possible as long as the four of us are together."

"Do you _ever _get tired of acting like that?" Logan questioned, resting in his chin in his hands.

"Yes, especially for you jerks." Kendall replied and shoved Logan in the chest, knocking him off of Carlos's back and onto the grass. "But every time I say that, I actually firmly believe in it. I can't do anything without knowing that you guys have my back."

"Aww, that's so sweet." James replied sarcastically. "It's so sweet and you're such a great friend you deserve a present."

"Uh-huh," Kendall snorted. "What kind of present is that?"

"One that you can only get from us," James replied and caught Logan and Carlos' eyes and then smiled evilly. "Trust me; you're going to like it."

Kendall laughed sarcastically as he slowly started to move away from James and the creepy smile he was giving. "No seriously, what is it?"

"DOG PILE!" Carlos shouted gleefully and he, Logan, and James jumped on top of Kendall before he could get away.

And that's what they did the rest of the night, hung out with each other, reveling in the fact that all of four of them were together again, knowing that nothing could ever tear them apart. For no matter how hard it tried, the bond of friendship between Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James was much too great.

**THE END**

**

* * *

A/N: Next chapter is the epilogue, so technically this story is done. I'm so glad that you guys liked it so much. I didn't really know what I was doing with it as it was just as idea I wanted to play out (there are a lot of medical things that I have to go back and chance because some information I know I really screwed up.) Thanks to everyone that read and reviewed this story and I'm still saying thank you to** Miss Fenway. **With her story 'Little Hollow' is how I got the idea for this so thank you! (And you're welcome for waking Logan up.) Thanks guys.**

**Cheers,**

**-Riley**


	30. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**

* * *

**"Kendall, would you hurry up?" Logan called over his shoulder as he sped walked down the sidewalk. "We're going to be late and you _know_ that I hate it whenever we're late somewhere."

"Yeah, you've always been kind of anal-retentive about it." Kendall commented with an easy-going smile and sped up a little bit, just to make his friend happy. "But I usually just ignored you whenever you started ranting."

"Being on time is a quality that I like to have, thank you very much." Logan replied, faking offense.

"You're welcome." Carlos replied cheerfully. He paused for a second. "I don't know what I'm saying you're welcome to," he admitted. "But anyone that says thank you, you're supposed to say you're welcome so you're-"

"Carlitos, we get the point." James slapped a hand over Carlos' mouth to keep him from talking. He then brought his hands away from his friend and started to run them through his hair.

'What are you fixing your hair for?" Logan asked, rolling his eyes. "They're a bunch of little kids; no one is going to care."

"Yeah, but there are going to be some hot nurses around and _they'll_ care." James replied with a grin. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos rolled their eyes and each reached out, slapping James on the arms and on the back of the head. "Ow! Hey! Watch it!"

"Here we are," Carlos stated as he walked up to the front of the hospital. "Huh, it's kind of weird to be back here."

"I was thinking the same thing," Logan added with a sigh as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Last time we were here, it was when the accident happened." He spoke quietly.

"If you want to be more precise, it was when we were taking you home from the hospital after you had gotten better." Kendall stated and slapped Logan on the arm again. He shifted his guitar case to his other hand. "Well, let's go in."

"Wait a minute," Logan grabbed Kendall's arm and turned him back around, eyes narrowed n suspicion. "I know that you're always the gung-ho we-can-do-anything-if-we're-together-and-have-an-optomistic-attitude-about-it type of guy, but why is it that coming back here isn't bothering you as much as it's bothering us?" He motioned to himself and James and Carlos, who looked over at Kendall curiously.

"Because," Kendall paused, for dramatic effect. He then dropped the façade and frowned a little. "Listen, it sucked that you guys were hurt so badly. I know it was an accident, but every now and then I still blame myself for it. But these guys here, the doctors and nurses worked really hard to make sure that you guys didn't die on me." He changed subjects quickly. "Which, by the way, I would kill your for if you did." He ignored Logan who gave him a look, knowing that what he had just said wasn't possible. "And I can't thank them enough for helping you guys. So I figured going to sing the kids a few songs would pay them back, if only a little."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're the best friend we've ever had?" James questioned.

Kendall smiled. "Once or Twice."

* * *

**A/N: There we go, and that's the end. 6 months of working on this story and it's finally over. Thank you everybody that read and reviewed and told other people to read it as well. Thanks for the reviews, the hits, the favorites, and the alerts. The support was amazing. With that, I'll say goodbye to this story.**

**Cheers,**

**-Riley**


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